Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Glycoraptors and sugar sloths

I had an awful hypo the other day. Mostly, when my blood sugar is falling it’s a slow, gradual sensation, and my symptoms of dizziness, shaking, and heart a-thumping increase over a period of minutes. When this happens I can usually just treat with a couple of jelly babies and a biscuit, and I’m fine. On this occasion however, it all started happening within seconds – I was guzzling down jelly babies to no effect and felt as though I was sliding down out of control. I decided I shouldn’t be on my own, so went next door to my neighbour’s and she made me some sweet tea which finally seemed to do the trick.

It was scary, and without any real explanation – and thankfully a rare occurrence! But it did get me thinking about possible causes…

If you’ve got diabetes then there’s one thing you should know,
That one of two things happens if you feel yourself go low:
Number one is gradual, like surfing on molasses,
It creeps down slow in tiny steps, inexorably as time passes.

The other plummets like a stone – not dropped, but thrown with force,
And speeding ever deeper down, you cannot change its course…
Or so it seems, when remedies that once worked seem to fail,
With planning and with luck, you will, and live to tell the tale.

‘How can this be?’, I hear you say, ‘How can there be two sorts?’
This question too had troubled me, in my dreams and waking thoughts,
Until I met a wise old man who knew about them both,
‘It’s because of Glycoraptors, and the lazy Sugar Sloths.’

‘Now, rarely does a Glycoraptor get inside your blood,
But given all the sugar there, he’d live there if he could!
He’s not like other dinosaurs, those massive frightening beasts –
He’s tiny, and there’s nothing more he likes than sugar feasts.’

‘So, if you spot a toadstool whilst you’re walking through the wood,
Be careful not to pick your nose, for it is understood
They jump from toadstools up your snout and burrow their way in,
And make you shake and shiver as they crawl beneath your skin!’

‘And once inside your bloodstream, with voracious appetites,
They’ll gobble up the glucose till there’s nothing left in sight!
You’ve got to fill their bellies up, and then their hunger fades –
But quickly, and the best thing is some lemon lucozade!’

‘And Sugar Sloths?’, I then enquired, ‘Why, you should always keep
Some Jelly Babies in your bag – it sends them straight to sleep!’
So now you know, if you go low, the reason for the fall –
If it’s fast, it’s Glycoraptors, if it’s slow, a sloth that’s small!’

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