Saturday, 25 July 2009

Challenge Poem!


Some time ago, I decided to try and raise some money for charity by setting myself a poetry challenge. Members of the support forum I visit were asked to give me words or phrases related to diabetes and treatments, and my challenge was to weave them all into a poem. The members would then make a donation to charity if I used their words. This is what they came up with – the poem follows …

keep taking the pills for this and that.
it's a pain to inject
Being diabetic means I'm sweeter than most.
Alex!
NO MORE SWEETS!
wee on a stick?
counting the carbs
changing your ratios
38 on diagnosis - is that bad?
whats ketoacidosis?
tablets or injections?
walk in centre
appointments
clinic
HbA1c
have you got your insulin bag?
jelly babies
back to school
dafne
diabetic nurse
slow release
quick release
can i have a pudding?
scales
calculator
snacks
Who's Dafne?
Am I normal?
Gimme gimme gimme I want sugar now

Challenge poem

Keep taking the pills, the good doctor said,
That’s easy for him, lying snug in his bed!
His brain isn’t bursting with all of those names
Of drugs and concoctions that all look the same!
Candesarten and ramipril – too many to mention,
That all promise cures for my bad hypertension,
Or statins and aspirin that both do their bit
To keep all my organs and arteries fit.

And now, whilst I’m at it, and I’ve got your ear,
Let’s just take a look at this medical gear!
There’s needles and meters, please just take your pick!
You even expect me to wee on a stick!
Believe me, sometimes, it’s a pain to inject,
When you’re worrying about bits you just might infect!
And who on Earth’s Dafne? A  diabetic nurse?
And please, am I normal? Or quite the reverse?

What’s ketoacidosis? The word should be banned!
You shouldn’t use language I don’t understand!
That consultant I saw said there’d be no more sweets!
Does he think life’s worth living without any treats?
Gimme, gimme gimme! I want sugar now!
Can I have a pudding?
Let’s not have a row!
Get counting the carbs, just hand me the scales!
I’ve worked out my ratio and it never fails!

 And down at the clinic they’re so proud of me –
‘Cos I’ve got a near normal HbA1c!
When I have a hypo, I just need a snack,
It’s highly unlikely I’ll fall flat on my back!
If someone asks‘Have you got your insulin bag?’
Then I’ll smile and I’ll nod, and won’t find it a drag.
Tablets and injections, if this is my fate,
 
I’m an all-conquering hero like Alex the Great!
Now, I know it’s immodest, and sounds like a boast,
But being diabetic makes me sweeter than most!

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