Saturday, 20 February 2010

Lady Lantus and the Lord of Levemir

Insulin is great! It stops my blood sugar levels from climbing ever higher and allows me to live a full and normal life – without it I would be dead by now. Great advances have been made since the days of Banting and Best, and mashed up animal pancreases from slaughter-houses - we now have synthetic ‘human’ insulins produced by the great pioneering companies such as Sanofi-Aventis, Novo-Nordisk and Eli Lilly. I personally use Lantus from Sanofi-Aventis as my ‘slow-acting’ background insulin, injecting this once a day, but many people use Levemir from Novo-Nordisk. I also use Novorapid as my ‘fast-acting’ insulin to cover the food I eat. Together these noble concoctions keep the diabetic beast within me under control…!

I’ve heard it told in days of old,
In a distant, far-off land,
The Lord of Levemir sought to win
A fair young lady’s hand.

But first a dreadful obstacle
The Lord must overcome –
A being that could strike men blind,
And limbs could render numb!

Betwixt the land of Levemir
And Lantus to the East
There roamed the awful terror
Named the Diabetic Beast…

The Lord sought counsel far and wide
How victory may be won?
The Beast must feel the glargine sting
At each setting of the Sun!

To the Sparkling Springs of Sanofi,
Where elixirs caught the light,
He drew syringes long and full,
And set off for the fight.

Across the raging Novorapids,
Three days and nights he rode,
And the Gnomes of Novo-Nordisk
Beside our hero strode!

And there, the Beast lay lurking -
They felt his fiery breath!
So sweet and sickly, thick and foul,
A harbinger of death!

But Levemir was not dismayed,
He plunged the syringes deep!
The Beast at once lost consciousness,
And for the day would sleep.

And thus was Lady Lantus free
To wed Lord Levemir,
The Beast subdued by Sanofi,
Once daily, in the rear!

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