Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Voodoo Meter!

People imagine that the most painful thing about having diabetes must be the injections, but it’s not so. Even those who are controlled by diet and exercise or pills have to suffer the pain caused by stabbing yourself with a lancet in order to discover your blood glucose levels. Depending on the person and the treatment regime they are on, this might happen between 2 and 12 times a day – for some people even more!

Personally, I test my blood between 4-8 times a day, on waking, before meals and before and after exercise. The thing is, it is rather painful, especially after you have used the same poor fingers a few hundred times! How much better it would be, therefore, if there was a meter that could do a ‘remote’ test – perhaps in the same manner as those Voodoo dolls that you can stick pins in and the person the doll represents feels it, although this time giving the blood glucose levels not the sensation of pain! I’d buy one of those!

Firstly, please let me commend you
On purchasing a Voodoo Meter!
We hope you like the chicken-bone colour,
And the size of it couldn’t be neater!

You’ll notice that there are no lancets,
Just a packet of bright-coloured pins,
And a little cloth doll with some markings
To show where the pins should go in…

Before you start using the meter
Take a lock of your freshly cut hair.
Don’t worry if you are a baldie,
For the hair can come from anywhere!

Tie the hair to the head of the dolly,
Then utter this mystical spell:
‘By the power of the Voodoo Meter
Do your magic, and please do it well!’

Now you are ready for testing,
So take out a bright coloured pin,
Then pick up the doll by the scruff of the neck,
And without hesitation, stick it in!

In an instant you will see on your meter
Your levels – without any pain!
And what’s better, the pins are recyclable –
You can wash them and use them again!

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