My favourite treatment for when my blood sugar levels drop low is two or three jelly babies – they’re tasty, quick to act and a welcome compensation for the hypo sweats and shakes. However, there comes a time in the life of every box of Jelly Babies when you realise that, with racing heart and blurring sight, you’ve eaten every colour except the green ones! From that point on it is a battle between your rational mind knowing that they still contain the same amount of precious sugar as all the other colours, and will do just as good a job, and that nagging voice in your subconscious telling you that they are evil transdimensional denizens of some dark nether-universe, here to wreak anguish and madness on all who bring them to their lips…
It cannot be so far away,
When dawns that dreadful, fateful day
As, reaching to treat my hypo shocks,
I find just green ones in the box!
Oh, tell me Mr Basset please
Why waste your time producing these?
Tart on tongue, and jealous hue,
An aberration! Shame on you!
For lusty red, beguiling black
I could consume those by the sack!
Bright orange, sunny yellow too –
I’d even accept a baleful blue!
But green brings foaming at the mouth,
One eye looks North, the other South,
Gripped by a kind of emerald rabies,
The Dark Lord of the Jelly Babies!