Diabetes is an expensive disease to treat and manage, and costs are increasing all the time with new, more expensive therapies and an ever-increasing number of new diagnoses. How can these costs be reduced? Is there some way that we can take advantage of the natural sweetness of a diabetic’s urine – first observed in ancient times and giving the disease its name – and generate some kind of income from it?
Indeed there is! London designer James Gilpin has proposed using the sugar-heavy urine excreted by diabetics to ferment high-end single whisky! Imagine then, the scenario: diabetics regularly attending at their local distillery in order to supply this valuable resource, gaining credits in return in order to fund their treatment! The resultant spirit can then be sold throughout the world, carrying the renowned imprimatur of the Scottish Government!
(With huge thanks to @CureT1Diabetes for the inspiration!)
Another diabetic? Ah! Please just join the queue
And pick a flagon of your choice from those in front of you.
I hope you’ve been behaving, and kept those levels high!
We have to keep the quality up – it’s hard, but we must try!
What’s that? You’ve never done this? You’re newly-diagnosed?
Then let me tell you what the Scottish Government has proposed!
You’ll know it costs a lot to treat you, now you’re diabetic?
Well here’s a way we’re hoping that you’ll help us to offset it!
You’ll have to come here twice a week to earn your testing strips,
And glug a flagon of this juice – no dainty little sips!
You might try eating salted nuts to sharpen up your thirst,
Then hopefully your bladder will be full up fit to burst!
Then make your way just over there – you’ll see a wooden trough,
Try to hold your breath because the smell might make you cough!
When you’re finished, shake your thing so we don’t lose a drop,
And in return then you will earn a voucher for our shop!
You’ll find a nice selection there of whiskies we’ve produced –
We sell them all around the world, so health costs are reduced!
So, if you’ve ever wondered what’s beneath a Scotsman’s kilt,
It’s a pint or two of liquid gold, and ne’er a drop is spilt!