Poems for Active Diabetics

Currently occupied elsewhere!

2012-01-13T15:18:00.002Z

Haven't post here in a while, I know, but I am currently writing a new blog about my training and fundraising for a very special charity DWED (Diabetics With Eating Disorders). You can follow my new blog at Doing it for DWED, so I hope I will see some (or all!) of you there over the next couple of months. I will try and get some more poetry done soon, honest!

Time to start again!

2011-11-01T23:01:00.002Z

I can't believe it's been so long since I last posted here! It seems the muse has deserted me and I haven't had any inspiration for new poems. I have therefore decided that, starting tomorrow, I will pick a random diabetes-related story from the day's news and write a poem about it. Not expecting any masterpieces, but at least it should get me back in the swing of things - I've been far too neglectful of my blog!

Watch this space!

The Lament of the Lonely Lancet

2011-07-12T15:38:00.000+01:00

One of the forum’s members related the unusual tale of trying to inject her small daughter, but no insulin was being delivered. She changed the insulin – no luck, changed the pen, no luck – then realised it was because the needle had no hole! Clearly a lancet who had been frightened by the folk tales of other lancets who told him that lancets rarely get changed – not at all like the official ‘single-use’ line he had been taught – and perhaps that’s how he ended up in a needle box…

Congratulations lancets all! You’ve all achieved a pass,
And now it’s time for you to leave the Lancing Duties class!
So follow me, you’ll be assigned to boxes at the gate –
Just keep in line and you’ll be fine, don’t push, not long to wait!

‘I’m scared, I’m not sure I should go, for though I passed the course,
And though I’d only do it once – could I draw blood by force?’
‘Just once? You’re joking! You’ll find out it’s six times every day,
And every day for several weeks before you’re thrown away!’

‘Are you sure? How awful! I think I may hang back
And lurk here in the shadows – they won’t miss one in a pack…
I’ll mingle with the needles, for surely they’re used less
And don’t conclude their useful life a blunt and bloodied mess!’

‘Oh my! I’ve been selected after months within this box,
In the darkness of this drawer with the underpants and socks!
It’s up to me to do my best and pierce this person’s skin
And deliver up a dialled dose of clean fresh insulin!’

Oh no! But wait! But it’s too late, I didn’t think this through!
I have no hole! It can’t get out! Whatever shall I do?
If only I’d stuck to my task, I’d surely have succeeded –
A lancet’s not a needle, for a needle’s hole is needed!

Astounding Discoveries

2011-07-11T13:35:00.004+01:00

Research is very important in the field of diabetes, and there are some very important and practical discoveries being made all the time that help to make my life easier and safer – and maybe one day I’ll be rid of this disease completely thanks to the wonderful work done by the world’s scientists. However, every now and then I come across reports of research that, to me, seems totally worthless, and I wonder how on earth they get funding for it! A recent example was the ‘discovery’ that people with Type 2 diabetes got better blood sugar readings when they replaced a breakfast muffin with a scoop of mixed nuts. No sh*t Sherlock! Blood sugar levels are raised primarily by the carbohydrate we consume. Muffins contain carbohydrate, nuts contain relatively few carbohydrates, ergo muffins are more likely to raise your blood sugar levels! What is the point of testing such obvious theories when the real puzzles about diabetes need vital money?

I’m pleased to announce without further ado
Our findings, which I’m sure will all astound you!
For fifteen long years at considerable expense
We’ve tested our theories, now they seem to make sense!

We discovered diabetics, when their levels are high,
Feel grumpy and thirsty, and we think we know why!
It’s because it’s not normal to be in that state –
So keep levels normal if you don’t want that fate!

And in one of our tests we discovered that bread
Increased the blood glucose, so eat bacon instead!
An historic observation, I am sure you’ll agree,
And all thanks to the money allocated to me!

And thirty nine subjects who consumed only jam
For a week and a day, then replaced it with ham,
Found their levels would rise when they ate something sweet,
But their levels were fine if they ate only meat!

And our insulin study is a fantastic success!
We gave some subjects lots and some others much less –
If we gave them too much, they collapsed on the floor,
But giving them too little showed that they needed more!

So we hope you are pleased that you funded our tests,
Such groundbreaking results – I can see you’re impressed!
And all this achieved – as cheap as it sounds –
For the paltry little sum of two million pounds!

What a cure – the Water Cure!

2011-07-06T12:23:00.002+01:00

Yet another ‘miracle cure’ for diabetes, this time consisting of drinking plain old water. The catch with this one though, is the quantity you have to consume – half your body weight in ounces per day! Now, I’m not sure that that means if you weigh 200 pounds you drink 100 ounces, or that you drink 100 pounds in one ounce gulps. Given the nature of these miracle cures, let’s assume the latter…in which case I have only one thing to say – hyponatremia!

Who’s next please? Come up here, and stand on the scales
For the guaranteed cure that, to date, never fails!
Most doctors dismiss this, as daft as that sounds –
Ah! I see you weigh in at just four hundred pounds!

That’s 180 kilos (sounds much less, don’t you think?)
So that’s just 90 litres a day you must drink!
If you start in the morning and imbibe all day long,
You’ll be cured in a fortnight – what on earth could go wrong?

I’ll admit there’s a chance that you may get confused,
And your brain cells might swell – but it’s not like they’re used!
For most people who come here and believe in this cure
Wouldn’t notice if they left with a few billion fewer!

And you may lose your appetite and become very sick,
And the headaches and convulsions may come on very quick,
And you may feel quite dizzy, or become comatose –
But it’s over a week since we’ve had one of those!

Glasgow Forum Meet June 2011

2011-06-13T15:04:00.002+01:00

Foreign Currency!

I have just about recovered from my 1,000 mile round trip this weekend to visit members of our forum based in Scotland at the Glasgow Meet. Sadly, due to last-minute technical problems (The Doctor was off in another time stream saving the universe from a trans-dimensional duck infestation), Megabus were offering a Tardis replacement bus service, so my journey, instead of being instantaneous, entailed leaving home at 7 pm on Friday evening, travelling by train to London, then an 8 hour coach journey to Glasgow overnight!

Sadly, the Tardis was out of commision

A journey of 1,000 miles, there and back!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to sleep much overnight, as I had hoped, and as the dawn light broke I found myself speeding through Cumbria heading towards the Scottish border. I knew when we had reached it when I started spotting the newly-born lambs with their distinctive tartan fleeces, and heard the unmistakable mating calls of the wild haggis ringing out even above the noise of the engine and my fellow passengers snoring. I guess you need to be up that early to catch a glimpse of these shy creatures in the wild.

Quick! The clock is running!

Arriving in Glasgow, at Buchanan Street Bus Station, I headed down the hill to Glasgow Central where I hoped to get an invigorating shower, which proved to be the case. I spent a little while afterwards listening to the wonderful voice of the station announcer and watching the crowds rush hither and thither, all clad in their weekend sports and casual kilts, some with lively sporrans yapping and snapping at the smell of a Sassenach. Thankfully, I was swiftly brought under the protection of Hazel and Carol who were able to keep the agitated beasts at bay.

Being highly civilised, cultured people, Hazel suggested breakfast at The Willow Tea Rooms, where the décor was designed by the great Charles Rennie Mackintosh who no doubt regularly partook of a full cooked breakfast here daily before embarking on some more world-famous designing.

Carol and Hazel, my protectors!

All set up for the day, we made our way to the meeting venue, the Counting House pub. And so commenced a day in the company of lots of fantastic people, some of whom I had met before, but many I had not. It was great to meet new friends and renew old aquaintances (someone should write a song about that…). As usual in the presence of fellow diabetics my blood sugar levels soared to unheard of heights – I really must get some kind of shielding to protect me from this, it happens every time and I have experienced most of my highest readings over the past three years in the company of two or more fellow diabetics! This time the upper figure appeared to be 15.3, much to the enjoyment of Hazel who insisted on documentary evidence of her wonderfully in-range 4.8 alongside my carb-counting calamity. Thankfully this gradually reduced to single figures over the course of the day as I judiciously exchanged my preference for Old Growler bitter to the more diabes-friendly lager.

Diabetes Osmosis as I absorb the glucose emanating from my fellow diabetics.

I wasn’t the only person who had come from afar. Donald had come from Aberdeen, Rachel from Edinburgh and Emma from somewhere I can’t quite remember, but a long way anyway! Angie had even used the cover of visiting her family to fly up from Cambridge so she could attend, although to make the ruse convincing she had agreed to spend two weeks with them…! Vickie arrived, looking nothing like her avatar, and we were joined by Jim, Fiona and Carol’s other half and father. Splendid company and we had animated discussions putting the world to rights whilst we contemplated the crowds outside in the square being bombarded by raindrops the size of footballs (or a ‘light shower’ as it is described in these parts).

Hazel and Emma

Vickie and Jim

Donald and Carol

Sassenach and Carol

Angie

Rachel and Fiona

As the guests departed and hunger pangs began, many hours after breakfast and with nothing but liquid in between, I decided to opt for the tourist’s meal of prime Heeland Haggis, neeps and tatties. Lovingly prepared from farm-assured and ethically-reared organic haggis, with sumptuous Tayside neeps and Lanarkshire tatties, the meal was a culinary triumph. I also managed to bolus for it correctly, as my levels were at 5.4 before bed!

Haggis, Neeps and Tatties

And so, to bed. Hazel and Carol shepherded me through the throngs of bagpipe playing sword dancers Flinging on every street corner to my hotel, a comfortable and very reasonably-priced establishement with no lift and a vertiginous spiral staircase to the top floor where my room was situated. And no lift. Fortunately, I hadn’t overdone it on the beer so I survived the ascent unscathed and settled in to watch the final of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ and contemplate the day. My contemplations continued long into the night as I was entertained at frequent intervals by the merry, traditional songs of the native population, with the odd car alarm to punctuate the silence in between the songs. I was so tired I slept anyway though, and woke early, consumed a fine Scottish breakfast and went walkabout in the city before catching my ten-hour coach and two hour train home!

Spiral Stairway to heaven

My room

Argyle Street, leading to Glasgow Central Station

Buchanan Street

Fine buildings and scupltures

The famous Sauchiehall Street

Stop messing with my head, accursed Diabetes Fairy!

2011-05-23T14:54:00.000+01:00

Haven’t done a post about my running for a while, partly because it seems to have been very hit and miss this year. Had a poor month in February, great month in March, lazy again in April, and really starting to get back into it in May. Things have changed from my March regime though, principally the fact that, as the day begins much earlier I have been getting up at around 5:15, thus generally getting my run in before 8:00. As I now need to eat and inject before going for a run, and allow time for the food to digest and the insulin to start peaking, I usually step out around 90 minutes after eating. All well and good, but what I consequently have to deal with is that my regular lunchtime is now around 7 hours after my breakfast, a long time to go without food or further injections.

So, I have been trying a little experiment over the past few days. On the first occasion, a few days ago, I decided that I would eat some toast and inject a small amount of insulin to cover it, shortly after completing my run. The result? Hypos all the way through to lunchtime! On the next occasion I decided to see what would happen if I ate the toast but didn’t inject for it. Result? My level prior to eating was 6.8 mmol/l (122 mg/dl) and by lunchtime it was 5.7 mmol/l (103 mg/dl) – I didn’t need any insulin for that toast! I have just repeated the experiment today, after a much shorter run. I was 7.0 mmol/l (126 mg/dl) after the run, ate some toast, and then was 5.2 mmol/l (94 mg/dl) before lunch! So the scenario with me seems to be:

1) Eat nothing for breakfast, levels normally creep up to the 7s/8s by lunchtime.

2) Eat breakfast, no run, levels usually in 5s/6s by lunchtime

3) Eat breakfast, go for run but eat nothing after, levels in 7s/8s by lunchtime

4) Eat breakfast, go for run and have toast afterwards, levels in low 5s!

Nothing’s ever simple is it?

The Melon Cure!

2011-05-19T11:21:00.000+01:00

There are lots of natural remedies that can help people with diabetes maintain good blood glucose levels, although their efficacy is often difficult to prove, and relying on them can be potentially dangerous. One such remedy is bitter melon, or bitter gourd, and the majority of advocates of this recommend eating the fruit or seeds, or taking the active ingredients in a supplement.

However, in the wacky world of diabetes, there’s always one stand-out fruitloop who puts forward a bizarre slant of their own, and offering a cure. Bitter melon is no exception. I won’t publicise the site that suggests this, but the method is as follows:

“Take half kg of bitter gourd in a big container and stand in it with clean feet. Then crush the bittergourds with your feet continuously. Then you will start to get the bitter taste of bittergourd in your tongue. Getting the taste of bittergourd without eating, is in itself a miracle. Do this daily for about 7 days. Then check your blood sugar level. When you do this ‘exercise’ regularly remain assured that your blood glucose level will remain in control.”

So, let us imagine then a specialised Cure Centre, run by a hard-nosed and officious instructor who will, for a fee, ensure you comply with the demands of the cure…

Keep your knees up number three! I want to see you sweat!
If you put in the work then this will cure you, don’t you fret!
And number five – I’m watching you! Stop paddling around!
I should be hearing squelching, but I hardly hear a sound!

Excuse me, are you Norman? I’m here about the cure.
I thought I’d found the right address, but now I’m not so sure!
No, you’re not mistaken, have you got your receipt?
Ah yes, that seems in order, now let me see your feet!

Cubicle number four is free, it just needs swilling out,
So go and get your swimsuit on and I’ll give you a shout!
I’m sorry? I don’t follow you – don’t I get a pill?
Don’t be so ridiculous! Now, in here if you will…

Now, on the rail behind you, suspended from a cord
You’ll find a row of melons, also known as bitter gourd.
Nut them with your forehead and split them on the ground,
And then get those legs pumping, and your feet stomping around!

I’ll make sure you keep working, so there’ll be no slacking off –
I want to see your melons pulverised inside that trough!
If you make the effort and maintain a good technique,
Then I can guarantee you – you’ll be cured within a week!

Mr Worsnip Goes to Jail

2011-05-18T15:20:00.001+01:00

Regular readers may remember the enterprising Supermarket Manager, Mr Worsnip, who initiated the first ever ‘Diabetic’s Day’ where diabetics were invited to come and shop in his store with free meters, insulin and jelly babies laid on to get them through their visit (see Supermarkets of the Future). Sadly, it has been uncovered that the store was operating subtle and hidden marketing techniques to try and induce extra, impulsive purchases of unnecessary luxury items. The most dangerous of these was the alteration of the frequency of the store’s fluorescent lights which, it turned out, were set at just the exact wavelength to trigger severe hypoglycaemia in the oblivious diabetics!

I am convinced that this is the reason why I have suffered so many hypos on my shopping trips to the local Tescos – and why I do not suffer the same fate in Waitrose or the Co-operative! Clearly, Tescos must be using the same techniques as Mr Worsnip to try and shift those piles of Ferrero Rocher outside of the Christmas season!

Mr Worsnip, you are charged that you did subliminally induce
A diabetic’s hypo, without warning or excuse!
We have gathered all the evidence, and are ready to proceed,
So tell me Mr Counsel, how does the defendant plead?

Not guilty, Your Honour, however could he know
That this frequency of light waves could make a diabetic low?
It was only his intention to try and sell more Shredded Wheat,
And not send people hypo, and falling at his feet!

And if you please, Your Honour, I’d also like to say
Mr Worsnip started Diabetic Supermarket Day!
He laid on entertainment and honey roasted ham,
And heavily discounted all his diabetic jam!

Would such a man endanger diabetics in his store?
The thought is so distressing that it hurts him to the core!
Head office had insisted that the lights were safe to use,
It’s they who should be standing here – them you should accuse!

Mr Worsnip, with his knowledge of the diabetic state
Should have stood his ground and not complied, but alas now it’s too late!
His greed for selling Shredded Wheat overcame his commonsense,
So, without ado, that’s enough from you! Let sentencing commence!

Poetry in a Picture

2011-05-17T20:48:00.000+01:00

I ran my meter readings through my computer software yesterday and was astonished to see that every reading bar one was within my target range of between 4 and 7 mmol/l (72 - 126 mg/dl)! Only one hypo all week! Heavens, I must be cured! (If it wasn't for all that jabbing with needles I still have to do...!) So, probably one of my favourite diabetes pictures since diagnosis.

Diabetes Training School for the Uncaring

2011-05-16T13:38:00.000+01:00

I was pretty appalled to read a post from one of our forum members this morning in which she explained how dreadfully her daughter had been spoken to when she went to have a foot injury examined at the minor injuries unit. The nurse gave the daughter (only 16 and not long diagnosed) a lecture with dire warnings about false legs and amputations! Where do they get these people from? It’s almost as if there is a special school where such people are trained to be as tactless and ignorant as possible – hopefully not all students at that school comply with their training!

Hello, I’m your instructor for the diabetes course,
I’ll teach you how to make them weep and tremble with remorse!
And if I ever hear of patients leaving with a smile,
That’s immediate suspension –no ifs, no buts, no trial!

I’ve got a few scenarios, and I’d like you to explain
How badly you would handle them, and inflict the greatest pain!
Nurse Jenkins, you look dubious, so I think I’ll start with you –
Your patient says she’s hurt her foot, so tell me what you’d do.

‘Well, first I’d put her at her ease, and say it’s very good
She decided that she’d see me just as early as she could.
And then I would examine her as gently as can be,
And reassure her, if I can, that it’s infection-free.’

No, NO!!!!! You have to frighten her, and make the poor girl fear
Her foot’s already gangrenous and won’t survive the year!
Castigate and bully her, until the poor girl cries
And thinks that there’s no hope for her, no matter how she tries!

‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it! That’s surely not the way!
A patient needs encouragement to get them through the day!
So you can take your course and stick it where the Sun don’t shine –
I’ll treat the patients my way, and I’m sure I’ll do just fine!

Diabetes Blog Week Day 7 – What we’ve learned...

2011-05-15T13:09:00.000+01:00

I have really enjoyed participating in Diabetes Blog Week 2011, and it's been wonderful reading everyone's contributions! Many thanks to Karen for organising it, and to Emma for reminding me it was about to happen! I hope people have enjoyed my poems, it's been really lovely to hear all your comments! So, what have I learned?

Basal, bolus, MDI, pancreas, pen and pump,
That lipohypertrophy is a way of saying ‘lump’,
A plethora of ‘-opathies’ affecting eyes and feet,
That there’s no carbs to talk about in any type of meat,
And macula, that’s vernacular for the bit that helps me see
The thirty one guage needle on the pen in front of me…
And how does all that glucose get in each and every cell,
And answering the question of just how does Lantus smell?
That cake is not forbidden, and some chocolate is OK,
Accepting there’s no cure as yet, and ‘it’ won’t go away,
But what I’ve learned beyond all this, a priceless thing for me,
Is I don’t need to feel alone – I have the D.O.C!

Diabetes Blog Week, Day 6 - Saturday Snapshots!

2011-05-14T07:33:00.000+01:00

Gluco John and Polly Yoorea encounter the Diabetes Fairy in Sugar Town!

More creatures born from the detritus of Diabetes Mellitus at http://diabotica.blogspot.com/ !

Diabetes Blog Week Day 5 – Awesome things!

2011-05-13T22:11:00.000+01:00

Who would have thought that something as life-changing and devastating as being diagnosed with a chronic, incurable disease could actually also produce changes for the good? Apart from the fact that it really made me sit up and take notice of my overall health and the way it was potentially heading, it also turned out to be an extremely rich source of inspiration for my poetry! Now, you may have noticed that my poems tend not to be the chest-beating, soul-searching and angst-ridden litanies of gloom and despair. I’ve tried that sort of stuff and I just can’t do it. No, I prefer to spot an absurdity or situation that can be given a humorous twist because I firmly believe that if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.

So, if I was to pick one awesome thing that I have done because of diabetes, it is that I have become a published poet! Not in a big way, but in print nevertheless! There are so many things to write about, whether it is the shop assistant’s explanation of Low GI bread, the Guru explaining the Dangers of Left-Nostril Neglect, or the nurse who is disgusted at seeing people inject insulin in public! Pig Sushi, diabetics donating urine to make whisky in return for test strips, a spooky Halloween diagnosis, diabetic jam, diabetic tamagotchis, farts versus injections, if Disney did diabetes – you’ll find them all here and many more, and I’m sure there will be endless strange encounters with the world of diabetes rendered in verse form in the months and years to come – watch this space!

Diabetes Blog Week Day 4 – Ten things I hate about you, diabetes!

2011-05-12T14:21:00.000+01:00

On the whole I’ve been pretty lucky with my diabetes. My levels are very good as a rule, HbA1c has been in the 5% club since about 6 months after diagnosis, and I was diagnosed late in life, aged 49, so I haven’t had to spend decades with it as yet (although I’m looking forward to my Joslin Medal and Alan Nabarro Medal for 50 years with diabetes when I reach 99…

So, not a lot to complain about, and I try not to, being fully aware of the struggles that others have in comparison to my relatively cushy ride. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother or upset me, or ruin my routines or plans, probably made worse by the fact that I had several decades of carefree spontaneity prior to diagnosis. There’s no escape, and sometimes that gets me down. I do try and bear in mind that things could be far worse though, and try and look on the bright side and inject a little humour (see what I did there? Groan!) with my poems, which I hope will lighten the burden for others from time to time.

So, 10 things? How about…

One, you never leave me,
Two, you’re always there,
Three, you’re so demanding,
Four, you never care,
Five, you’re so erratic,
Six, you’re timing’s bad,
Seven, sometimes dramatic,
Eight, you make me mad!
And if you haven’t worked out
What I’d pick for Nine and Ten,
Then please go back to Number One
And read the list again!

Just go! Vamos! And sling your hook!
For you’re not wanted here!
Vacate my life and let me be,
And let me drink my beer!

Diabetes Blog Week, Day 3 - Diabetes Bloopers

2011-05-11T10:08:00.001+01:00

I haven’t been diagnosed that long, just about three years now, and am glad to say that I have been able to manage my diabetes well without any real disasters or howlers. When I was first diagnosed I remember getting home from the hospital and going through my cupboards, clearing out everything I thought I could no longer eat – honey, sugar, biscuits, treacle, puddings, ice cream, chocolate – I remember being surprised at how much stuff I had that was now forbidden to me, especially since I had never considered myself to have a particularly sweet tooth.

As time went on though, and I learned more about carbohydrate and things like the glycaemic index and glycaemic loading diet, I realised that I shouldn’t deny myself the occasional treat. Happily, weight was never an issue for me, and I quickly got back into my running, so could afford extra calories when the whim took me. I learned that nothing was forbidden to me, as long as it was in moderation, and taking care to consume ‘fast’ sugar items as part of a meal so I would lower the overall GI and have less of a spike in blood sugar levels.

However, sooner or later every person with diabetes will encounter someone who isn’t diabetic, yet knows far more than you about what is and what isn’t allowed. Obviously, in their minds, anything sweet will probably kill you almost instantly, so they take it upon themselves to safeguard your welfare by issuing horrified warnings should you absent-mindedly raise a slice of cake to your mouth. Before your lips can close around the moist and heavenly delicacy, their stern insistence that ‘you shouldn’t be eating that!’ suddenly hits home and you realise how close you came to an almost certain early demise. Thank goodness for the Diabetes Police!

My goodness! How stupid! I’ve been such a fool!
I’m embarrassed and my face has turned red!
How could I have forgotten the One Golden Rule?
I must have gone out of my head!

Of course! You’re correct! Why couldn’t I see
That the cake that I almost consumed
Represented such danger, for it’s poison to me!
Oh forgive me! May I leave the room?

I feel such an idiot, my head hangs in shame,
For the consequences might have been so severe,
If I woke from the coma, then who would they blame?
All due to my ignorance, I fear!

Oh thanks for your warning, so grateful to you!
I am blessed by the interest you take!
If it wasn’t for you, I may not have pulled through
My mistake in digesting that cake!

Diabetes Blog Week, Day 2 - Dear Diary

2011-05-10T11:54:00.000+01:00

One of the good habits I got into as soon as I left hospital was recording everything related to my diabetes management down in my diabetes diary. Ostensibly just for recording blood glucose levels and insulin doses, I quickly developed my own shorthand so I could easily record all the new elements that I learned were part and parcel of the management of this disease. I started recording the time of my insulin doses so I could avoid ‘stacking’ – having an injection before the previous one had worked through my system. I also recorded the type of food I had eaten so I could refer back and see how my dose calculation had performed when eating the meal again. My activities – mostly running, interspersed with Gay Gasper – so I could see the effect on my insulin sensitivity. Plus lots of other little things that might be of use to improve my blood glucose management, or perhaps to help me identify possible causes when everything seems to go haywire for no apparent reason. I’d never remember all this stuff, no matter how good my memory is, so the diary is an essential tool in keeping me safe from the dreaded complications.

I’d urge everyone to make friends with their diaries! Diabetes is about so much more than the readings stored on your meter, especially if you are on insulin, but also if you’re not, in order to spot those patterns emerging that might throw some light on why you went high after eating those profiteroles…

Dear Diary, have you noticed how good a boy I’ve been?
Just flick through all your pages and you’ll see just what I mean!
For every day, in every way, I’ve laid the numbers down,
The ones that make my heart content, the ones that make me frown.
For only by recording them can I see the reasons why
This morning I was far too low, that evening far too high!
And more – it’s not just fingerpricks and insulin amounts,
But food, my mood, and exercise, for every factor counts,
And when something confuses me, or I just get the urge,
I see the problem clearly in the patterns that emerge!

So thank you my dear Diary, you’re worth so much to me,
And I’ll attend you every day – oh yes, I will! You’ll see!

Diabetes Blog Week #1 - Admiring our differences

2011-05-09T15:02:00.000+01:00

I’m the Admin for a diabetes support forum. Although the forum has only been going less than three years, we are now in excess of a quarter of a million posts from thousands of people. If there is one thing I learned early on in my involvement with the forum, it is that everyone’s story is different. Even two Type 1s of similar age and length of diagnosis will have very different experiences to relate, whether it is their reaction to different types of food, their ability to control their levels, their reactions to exercise, and the reactions of the people around them to their condition and how they handle it – the bottom line is, we are all different. By responding to each other’s cares and concerns, triumphs and troughs, we can help each other build up strategies to cope with those aspects of diabetes that have had us stumped, maybe for many years. There is no substitute for this knowledge and shared experience, no teacher or text book can teach it, there are no simple rules applying to all, except perhaps the need for insulin, whether from pump, pancreas or pen, to process glucose and keep our levels in range. So who do I admire the most? Every single one of you!

Hundreds of people, thousands of posts,
Which one should I pick from these? Which one means the most?
The parent, child or pensioner? Perhaps the anxious wife?
Or the person who refuses to let it rule their life?
The people running marathons, or those who walk a mile?
The people fighting deep despair? The ones who make me smile?
So many different lives to lead, so many tales to tell,
From happy Pumping Paradise to needle-phobic hell…
All ages, colours, sex and creed, the bald, brunette or blonde,
Tall and small and thin and fat, we share a common bond.
So many newly-diagnosed – if only there were fewer,
And maybe one day, not far off, we celebrate the Cure!

On the eve of Valentine's Day...

2011-02-13T23:28:00.000Z

Lament for a Lost Love

Oh pancreas, my luscious pearl,

I love thee more than any girl!

For who but you could make my heart

Beat fast and wild when you depart?

My breathing, shallow, gasping air,

To lose the touch of one so fair!

Why did you fail me on that night

And leave me in this awful plight?

What did I do to hurt you so,

And make you feel that you must go?

Forgive me pancreas, my love,

Let’s be once more like hand in glove!

Without your influence so sweet,

I contemplate each thing I eat,

And daily tasks serve to remind

Of all that we have left behind…

Return, and let our love grow strong,

And please don’t make me wait too long!

Writer's Block!

2010-11-21T17:49:00.000Z

Sorry that things appear to have dried up here recently! I had an inspired start to the month with some ridiculous subject matter to work with and then…writer’s block! Grrr!!!! Actually, I haven’t been totally silent, I have been writing another blog, A History of the Forum in 100 Posts. I stole the idea from BBC Radio 4’s ‘History of the World in 100 Objects’ but it seems to be a popular method of reviewing how the Diabetes Support forum has developed over the first two years of its existence. Members new to the forum can find out what sort of things have cropped up in the past, both good and bad, funny and horrific, and old timers can get all warm and nostalgic!

Hopefully, more poetry ideas will invade my head before too long!

The Eye Hospital

2010-11-04T20:51:00.001Z

I went to the Eye Hospital today as a follow-up to my retinal scan a few months ago. The doctors were concerned that my eyes showed ‘diabetic changes’ so wanted to investigate further. The initial part of the appointment was very much the same as having a retinal scan – drops in eyes to dilate pupils to the size of dinner plates, wait for them to take effect, then have retinal photographs taken. Having your pupils dilate like that has the inevitable consequence of making everything seem exceedingly bright, and also makes it impossible to focus on any text smaller than large billboard size.

Imagine my surprise, therefore, when I realised that the waiting room was liberally spread with reading matter of all varieties – a bookshelf, stacks of magazines on a table, and an extensive range of pamphlets covering a broad spectrum of physical ailments, their symptoms and treatment. Looking around at the other patients it was clear (even through blurred eyes!) that none of them was capable of reading any of this without the aid of the Hubble Space telescope! I don’t think they had quite thought this through…!

Now you’ve had your drops, please go and sit down,
Before long they will call out your name…
You just need to wait whilst your pupils dilate
And your retinas start to inflame!

But let me just show you, for it may be some time,
Our library of books old and new!
We’ve novels and thrillers, and can’t-put-them-downs,
There’s bound to be one to suit you!

Or if you prefer, there’s a fantastic range
Of magazines to flick through and browse!
There’s fashion and cars and gardening and golf,
Or farming if you’ve a passion for cows!

If that’s not to your taste, take a look over here
At our leaflets displayed in this rack!
There’s all you need know about things ‘down below’
Or ways you might injure your back!

In an EYE hospital nurse? Have you quite thought this through?
It ought to be no big surprise
For the reason we’re here is abundantly clear –
We’ve got something wrong with our eyes!

A Whipworm a Day Keeps the Doctor Away!

2010-11-03T16:30:00.001Z

More bizarre research findings. Apparently, it’s been discovered that people infected with certain species of parasitic worm are less prone to autoimmune diseases and allergies, including Type 1 diabetes, asthma and allergy, Crohn’s Disease and Multiple Sclerois. What better programme, therefore, for the government to conduct than to intentionally infect the populace with these wondrous colon cohabitants? Imagine the huge reductions in healthcare costs if all these conditions could be averted! Surely a small incentive to the doctors in the community would encourage them to start prescribing without delay!

Given your family history
We think that it is critical
That you consume three times a day
A worm that’s parasitical!

A worm, you say? You must be mad!
What good would that do me?
Prescribing worms, good gracious –
What kind of doctor can you be?!!

I’ll have you know, dear patient,
I’m a doctor up to speed
On all the latest guidelines
That the government has decreed!

We have to get our patients
To consume three worms a day,
And if we do then they’ll come through
And triple all our pay!

Physician, keep your whipworms,
I’m afraid I must decline…
I suggest you take them back and stick them
Where the Sun don’t shine!

Pig Sushi

2010-11-02T15:17:00.000Z

Just when I think I have heard the most bizarre research being conducted into finding a cure for diabetes, along comes another, even more extraordinary notion! Pig sushi definitely makes it into my top ten potential cures! Apparently, according to this New Scientist article, scientists have been exploring the potential of using porcine islet cells coated in a seaweed-derived extract to transplant into humans. The pig cells used are taken from a special breed of pig which lives only on Auckland Island south of New Zealand, which has been isolated for over two centuries and is free from any organism likely to infect humans. The seaweed helps to overcome the possibility of the cells being rejected by the host body.

I await with wonder and eagerness the ‘cure’ that will trump Pig Sushi on my all-time list of diabetes cures!

Waiter, excuse me, but what’s this dish here?
It sounds quite revolting and decidedly queer!
For I always thought sushi was made out of fish,
But what you are offering is a quite different dish!

Ah yes sir, pig sushi – a specialty of ours,
And a dish that’s possessed of some magical powers!
It’s pork wrapped in seaweed from the Sargasso Sea,
And it cures diabetes (though there are no guarantees!)

But why so expensive for seaweed and pork?
Is it served with champagne and a solid gold fork?
Do they fly pigs from China on a business class fare?
Do they pluck strands of seaweed from a fair mermaid’s hair?

Not quite sir, but almost, for the pigs that we seek,
Live south of New Zealand in a herd that’s unique…
Some say they are tended by mystical elves,
And they don’t need a plane as they fly here themselves!

Well it sounds like a meal that is fit for a king!
Whoever could imagine such a remarkable thing?
Bring it at once! I can’t wait to be cured!
And there’ll be a large tip, of that be assured!

Jobsworth

2010-11-01T14:28:00.000Z

Unfortunately, there are a lot of very poorly-informed people around who are in positions where they can wield their power to make life difficult for us. Recently, a member of the forum recounted how she had gone for an appointment with a Job Centre official who proposed that, since using insulin might be a barrier to obtaining a job involving driving, why didn’t she stop using it and try diet and exercise instead? I’ll leave it to you to imagine the collective response of other forum members to this ridiculous and dangerous suggestion! Did the official think that using insulin was a ‘lazy’ way of managing diabetes? I despair!

Yes? Who’s next please? Ah, come and sit down!
It’s just a few questions, so no need to frown!
I’ve had lots of training, so you’ll be in good hands,
I’m well up on vacancies and market demands!

It says on your form you’re diabetes, type 1?
Can you just let me know how long that has gone on?
I know all about it – the same as old Uncle Bob,
But it never stopped him from getting a job!

Or was his type 2? Well, they’re pretty much the same –
They’re both diabetes, so what’s in a name?
But you’re using insulin to keep levels low?
Uncle Bob never used it, as far as I know…!

So why don’t you try? Give the insulin a miss?
You need to try harder – much harder than this!
Uncle Bob, I recall, only took the odd pill,
You could do the same, you just need the will!

What’s that? Oh that’s nonsense! Of course you won’t die!
You’ll never find out if you don’t even try!
If Uncle Bob could do it, then I think so can you,
Or I’ll cross you off our list without further ado!

A Hallowe'en Diagnosis

2010-10-31T14:28:00.000Z

Come in, come in, my little one, the spell has taken hold!
For though the sweat drips from your brow, it seems your flesh is cold…
And sickness grips your stomach such that nothing there remains,
Your blood and urine honey sweet, and acid fills your veins!

But fear ye not, my little one, a poultice I will make
To stop the shaking of your limbs and thirst you cannot slake!
So lie down on the feathered bench whilst I prepare the charm
And soon the anguish in your mind will be replaced with calm!

Before I act to make you well, a contract you must sign,
And whilst you hold to all its rules the spell remains benign!
But should you stray but for a day, then havoc will you reap,
And it may be that demons come to take you in your sleep!

So take this spike to pierce your flesh, should e’er you wish to eat,
If you would save your eyes and heart, and long retain your feet!
The juices in this vial serve to pacify your food
Without it, live a hellish life, with foul and blackened mood!

You must perform the ritual till dawns the far off day
The curse is lifted from your kind, and only then you may
Tear up the contract, cast away the sharp and bloodied spike,
Then go out to the restaurant and order what you like!

Beware the Grape!

2010-10-30T12:52:00.001+01:00

Advice given to people newly-diagnosed with diabetes, particularly Type 2 where no medication may be required, can sometimes be a little on the inadequate side. One forum member related that her only advice on being diagnosed was ‘don’t eat grapes’. So, why are we searching for a cure for diabetes when the solution is so simple? Instead of trying to cure diabetes we should be trying to cure people of the compulsion to eat grapes!

It seems you’re diabetic - now, I know that that’s not nice,
But there’s no need to panic, just follow my advice!
It’s quite OK to fill yourself with strawberries and bananas,
But banish from your life for good the grape and the sultana!

The world is spending far too much in searching for a cure,
Instead they should be spending it repelling grape allure!
For that’s the only rule you need to keep yourself in shape –
It doesn’t matter what you eat if you reject the grape!

I know that when you see a grape you feel a strange compulsion
To eat a bunch for every lunch – but treat them with revulsion!
Forego the humble currant and dismiss the wizened prune,
Then forget you’re diabetic, you’ll be practically immune!

Ode to a Dumpling Dear

2010-10-07T15:05:00.001+01:00

My poem for National Poetry Day!

There lived far off, in distant lands
A maiden fair, but plump
All ripe in bloom, and comfy was
The flesh upon her rump.

She lived her life in bliss pursuit
Of puddings, cakes and pies
And heedless she about the growth
Of poundage on her thighs.

Her face rotund would smile at all
The pastry cream delights
The soup suffused with lard and oil
And sugary, chocolate bites.

And then, one day, into her life
A stranger chanced to pass
A Northerner, uncouth and rude,
Remarked upon the lass:

"My word my girl, I do believe
You've set my heart a-thumping
For ne'er have I seen such a mass
I needs must call you 'Dumpling'!"

"Yes, Dumpling Queen, my Dumpling Dear!
You've made me all a-tizzy,
I warrant that you keep a league
Of chefs and bakers busy!"

These words at first did not connect
So strange his ways and speech
What could he mean? What did he say?
A whale upon a beach?

But slowly, surely, as she thought
And pictured in her mind
An explanation formed and grew -
He wasn't being kind!

A raging fire began to burn
Within her heaving breast
That rose and fell with every breath
Her inner wrath confessed.
Her angry heart beat faster
Could her clothes withstand the test?
Pounding and rebounding
'Gainst the fabric of her vest.

And with a roar, she then declared,
"No, I shall never rest
Until the day I rid the world
Of this base, uncultured pest!"

"No more shall I be 'Dumpling Girl',
The subject of such jest!
Henceforth I shall be 'Lovely Girl'
The fairest and the best!"

She looked around, but looked in vain,
For Northern man had fled!
The sight of all that quivering flesh
Had filled the man with dread…

And as the fire within her burned
And she searched far and wide
The quantity of flesh she bore
Did inch, by inch, subside!

Each minute past saw ounces melt
And she grew sleek and slim
Diminishing the wrath she felt
Her fury growing dim.

"Perhaps this Northern man was kind
To emphasise my girth -
Perhaps his tender parts should not
Be bruised for all they're worth."

"Maybe just a well-placed knee
When he suspects it least
Will compensate sufficiently
For being such a beast?"

When next they met, the Northern lad
Could scarce believe his eyes
Could this fair sight before him now
Be the product of those pies?

He gasped at first, and then he groaned
For barely did he see
As the region that would hurt the most
Connected with her knee…

We wonder were her model looks
The reason for the cries
The high-pitched voice, the curious gait,
The water in his eyes?

No more would she be 'Dumpling Girl'
This lovely lass so light
And he would nurse his bruises
In the small hours of the night….

The Doctor will see you now...

2010-10-05T20:08:00.000+01:00

I’ve been reading too many stories lately about people being called in to see the doctor and when they get there he’s got no idea what the appointment is for, has the wrong notes which he hasn’t read anyway, and makes wholly inappropriate assumptions or rude and thoughtless comments. Why do such people join the medical profession in the first place? Not for the money, surely?

Now, why have you made an appointment?
‘You asked me if I would come in!’
And why did we ask you to do that?
'I can’t think what the reason might have been!'

Well, let’s have a look at your records…
I see that you’ve had a few tests.
That must be why we want to see you -
To decide what to do for the best!

This test says you’ve just become pregnant!
That’s odd for an eighty year old!
I must say that you’re looking well though,
It’s the hormones that do that, I’m told!

Ah! This test says you’re diabetic!
I’m guessing you must be Type 2,
For Type 1s, it has been my experience,
Are much slimmer and younger than you!

What’s that, you’ve been Type 1 for decades?
You’re not pregnant because you are male?
Well then, please would you go, for I’m busy you know,
And I don’t have the time for your tales!

The Dangers of Left Nostril Neglect

2010-10-04T13:31:00.000+01:00

The world of health is truly bizarre. Common problems that have afflicted mankind through the ages have engendered many weird and wonderful theories about their origins and how they may be prevented or cured. One of my favourites of the day has to be the prevention of diabetes through the practice of ‘Nadi Sodhana’ - the yoga technique of alternate nostril breathing! Apparently, the yogis have known for centuries about the ‘nasal cycle’, whereby humans favour one nostril over the other for breathing. The preferred nostril in a healthy individual apparently changes over a period of about two hours, but should one nostril exceed its allotted time significantly then dire consequences can ensue!

Breathing predominantly via the right nostril is apparently one of the major causes of diabetes! But wait, you can’t escape by favouring your left nostril, for this will put you at risk of developing asthma! Fortunately, both diseases can be avoided by learning to optimise your nasal cycle. I feel this should be taught in every school…!

Madam, please excuse me, if I may be so bold,
I’ve noticed how you’re breathing, because the day is cold!
The vapours you’re emitting cloud the autumn air,
Revealing that you’re risking things you may not be aware!

What nonsense sir, please leave me be, and let me on my way!
You don’t know me from Adam, what a stupid thing to say!
I learned to take in oxygen since I took my first breath
And I don’t intend to change my ways until I meet with death!

Forgive me madam, but you must! Or one day you might find
Your life afflicted by disease – the diabetic kind!
For you don’t use your passages to optimum effect:
The right one is in favour, but the left one you neglect!

My passages? How dare you sir! How could you be so rude?
Your language, sir, is intimate, and borders on the lewd!
Oh madam, let me clarify! I’m speaking of your nose!
For when you take in oxygen, that’s mainly where it goes!

You need to learn to use the left, and I can teach you how!
I’d like to stick my finger up – that’s if you will allow?
Be on your way you awful man, or we will come to blows,
And you’ll find trouble breathing when I spifflicate your nose!

Too old for Type 1!

2010-10-03T17:02:00.000+01:00

A member related on the forum today how his practice nurse had insisted to him that he couldn’t possibly have Type 1 diabetes as he was too old! Erm…I was 49 when I was diagnosed, and recently a new member joined having been diagnosed Type 1 at the age of 65! No doubt this is a cunning money-saving exercise – by reclassifying the adult Type 1s as Type 2 the doctors can withdraw test strips and other medication on the basis that only insulin-dependent Type 1s need them!

Note: there isn’t a word of truth in any of the following poem!

Mr Jenkins? Your appointment has been rearranged,
And since you’ll have turned 40, your diagnosis has changed!
We know that we told you that you were Type 1,
But now you’ve got older, I’m afraid that is wrong!

Type 1 diabetes affects only the young,
And you’ve got a foot on the middle-aged rung –
On the ladder of life, I’m afraid you’re too high,
And your fountain of youth is decidedly dry!

So, because you’re too old, you’ve been reclassified,
There’s no point in complaining, though many have tried!
You’ll be very pleased to learn that you’re a Type 2,
That’ll be cheaper for us, if not better for you!

You won’t need to test, so you won’t need those strips,
And you’ll no longer suffer those low sugar dips!
We’re withdrawing your insulin, you’ll be diet-controlled…
What’s that? Don’t blame me sir – it’s because you’re too old!

Something doesn’t smell right!

2010-10-02T17:02:00.001+01:00

As I’m running on behalf of Cancer and Bio-detection Dogs in the Great South Run this year, I thought I would pen a little poem about a typical scenario where a faithful furry friend helps his owner realise that his sugar levels are dropping low…(if you like the poem, please sponsor me at http://www.justgiving.com/sniff-for-life )

What’s that Towser? Please leave me be!
Stop licking my hand, and pawing my knee!
I’ve already fed you, so it’s surely not that –
If I give you more biscuits you’ll only get fat!

We’ve been to the park and played with your ball,
You chased a black cat till it jumped up a wall!
Your legs must be tired, why don’t you just rest?
Go lie in your basket, and don’t be a pest!

Go bother a neighbour and leave me alone!
Go sniff your bottom, or bury your bone!
I’m getting quite tetchy, I think you can tell –
Is there something wrong? Is it something you smell?

My goodness, dear Towser! It seems you are right!
Oh thank you my friend for detecting my plight!
My blood sugar’s low, and you knew straight away!
In future I’ll know what you’re trying to say!

Food glorious food!

2010-10-01T15:19:00.000+01:00

One of the main problems with diabetes, putting aside the horrific and debilitating complications that it may bring, is that it affects one fundamental aspect of your daily life – eating. You may be able to get away without eating at all for a day or two, although that isn’t to be recommended, but sooner or later you are going to have to face food. With that comes the inescapable fact that everything you eat, whatever it is, needs some consideration – ideally careful consideration. Principally, you are concerned with the amount of carbs in the food, and this will then be further refined by a consideration of the type of carbohydrate and what other food types may be consumed with it. The amount of fat is a consideration, particularly saturated fat, as it is thought to contribute to cardio-vascular disease – something diabetics are already at greater risk of- plus, it will delay digestion of carbohydrate. Salt is another consideration: diabetics are advised to keep their blood pressure at tighter and lower levels than the non-diabetic public, and salt can contribute to high blood pressure.

So, there is no escaping having to think about diabetes each time you eat, if you are to succeed in keeping your blood glucose at healthy levels. Most people can live with this most of the time, but on occasion the fever grips you and you feel compelled to rebel – to eat all the stuff you shouldn’t and reassert your authority over the dastardly disease!

It was with this in mind, therefore, that I recently decided to have ‘Day of Indulgence’. I was prepared to inject whatever vast amounts of insulin were required to cover the outrageously sinful food I intended to consume, although I hadn’t really set out much of a plan about what that food would consist of. First meal of the day was a ‘blowout breakfast’ – egg, bacon, beans, fried bread, extra bread and a large mug of tea:

By lunchtime I wasn’t particularly hungry, so settled for two slices of melted cheese on toast, a chocolate cream éclair and ten pieces of dark chocolate:

Evening meal was a large Cornish pasty with chips, peas and carrots, followed by another chocolate cream éclair and a strawberry Muller rice:

Surprisingly, my blood sugar levels were fine throughout the day. I took measurements before each meal and two hours post meal and never rose higher than 8.9 mmol/l (160 mg/dl). This was probably due to the large amount of fat in each meal, which would have caused the food to digest more slowly. I was surprised also that, following my instincts only, I had indulged mainly by eating fatty foods rather than sweet ones – although obviously there were sweet foods consumed. I had imagined beforehand that I would want to sate my cravings for whole cakes or boxes of jelly babies, but apparently not!

This is not an experiment I intend to repeat in the near future. Despite ‘missing’ this type of food generally, I found that, in practice, it was far too fatty for my palate these days, so it looks like I have trained myself to be a ‘good’ diabetic!

Influenza Extravaganza! Step this way!

2010-09-28T12:33:00.000+01:00

As a diabetic, I fall into the extra risk category should I contract flu. The extra stresses placed on the body’s systems trying to fight off the virus can result in climbing blood sugars which, if not properly controlled, can result in high levels of ketones with the potential for developing DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) – a life-threatening condition. For this reason, I am advised to have a vaccination against the most common strains in the autumn of each year to provide extra protection. For me, under the NHS, the vaccination is provided free of charge. However, my doctor receives a payment from the NHS for every patient he treats, and since the process only takes a few seconds this can be a very lucrative venture.

In order to maximise this earning potential, the surgery tries to encourage as many people as it can to take up the offer. When I was dropping off a prescription yesterday I was quite astounded at all the brightly coloured bunting and flashy posters decorating the whole place, as though there was some huge, historic celebration planned! And so I imagined, what might the doctor’s letter be like inviting me to this extravaganza…?

The postman came, is it for me? My goodness, what is this?
A letter from my doctor, oh no! Something must be amiss!
Dare I open it, and see what fate is in store for me?
Or should I leave it sealed and stay in ignorance, fear free?

The envelope is staring up, I can’t escape its gaze!
Oh, how I wish I’d given up my wild, unhealthy ways!
My doctor never writes to me, just when the news is bad,
But no – I’ll have to open it, or it will drive me mad!

What’s this? A card all glittery? Whatever could it be?
A party invitation? And please ‘RSVP’?
What joyous grand occasion are the celebrations for?
I read on in bewilderment, in order to learn more…

‘We’re happy to inform you, after months of preparation,
The time’s arrived for you to have your new flu vaccination!
There’ll be some cakes and sandwiches, and of course a bar,
But if you intend drinking, please leave behind your car.’

I couldn’t wait! The day arrived, I walked into the room,
The disco lights were flashing, I could hear the music boom!
And party poppers threw their coloured streamers in the air,
And conga-dancing patients laughed and weaved between the chairs!

A pretty nurse came up to me and whispered in my ear.
‘Would you like to join me in my office over here?
I’ve got something to give you – I promise it won’t hurt!
And it will make it easier if you first remove your shirt!’

So willingly I followed her, my shirt fell to the floor,
I gazed at her expectantly as she swiftly closed the door.
‘Now close your eyes for my surprise, I’m sure you’ll find it fun!’
She stuck a needle in my arm, announcing ‘There! All done!’

A month to go! Woof! What's that I can smell?

2010-09-25T17:31:00.001+01:00

Well, the Great South Run will take place a month tomorrow so I really need to get myself in shape! This will be my third year of running the GSR with diabetes, and having run for the two big diabetes charities in the past two years (JDRF and Diabetes UK) I decided to run on behalf of a smaller charity this year. So, I have chosen the wonderful Cancer and Bio-detection Dogs UK, who train dogs to sniff out signs of a number of conditions, primarily cancer, hypoglycaemia (low blood sugar) and Addison's crisis (a problem with the adrenal response system). These animals can be lifesavers in detecting early signd of cancer, or alerting people to potentially lif-threatening hypos - particularly in young children who may not be able to articulate how they feel - or people with poor hypo-awareness.

The charity are hoping to train 50 dogs over the next three years, so any money raised will be extremely welcome and put to excellent use! Please help if you can by clicking on the 'donate' button at the right of the screen or going to my just giving page.

Wear your socks inside out!

2010-09-20T12:48:00.001+01:00

Feet are important to everyone, and for people with diabetes extra care needs to be taken to ensure that there is no risk of damage or infection as this can be much more difficult to treat and heal than in a non-diabetic person. Personally, I was advised to wear socks without seams in order to reduce the possibility of them rubbing and causing blisters. Recently on the forum, however, I read that a person had been advised to wear their socks inside out – presumably for the same reason!

I spoke to my doctor, he’s a wily old fox,
And he gave me advice about how to wear socks.
Now, perhaps you’d expect that there’s only one way,
But apparently not, as he went on to say:
Since you’re diabetic (there’s a tick in the box)
Then you have to beware of all life’s little knocks,
So look after your feet, for they’re what help you stand,
And roam far and wide through this wonderful land!
It’s true that there’s nothing that’s so far from your mind,
For they’re much lower down than your chest or behind,
But follow my guidance and you’ll need both your boots
For perambulation and leisure pursuits!
Keep your feet warm, well-protected and clean,
And come in to see me if they swell or turn green!
Most important of all - and of this there’s no doubt –
Always remember, wear your socks inside out!

Birmingham forum Meet, September 2010

2010-09-19T10:04:00.001+01:00

Had an absolutely brilliant day yesterday in Birmingham meeting up with fellow forum members! It was a lovely, sunny day to begin with, but sensibly we ensured we were comfortably esconced in the Penny Blacks bar when the inevitable rain descended. Really nice venue, with a lovely outlook across the canal - Birmingham has certainly improved since my last visit about 20 years ago! There was a really good turnout, and clearly a lot to talk about as everyone was busy chatting away for the next nine hours! Lovely bunch of people - thanks to all for coming, and a special thanks to Shiv who oganised it, and sheperded me back to the Megabus stop at the end!

Flock to Skipton!

2010-09-14T15:08:00.001+01:00

Sorry about the lack of posts lately – I’ve been away from the connected world and don’t have the foresight to try and organise guest posts! I’ve been up in the lovely Yorkshire Dales visiting family and friends. The weather was superb, and I really felt quite a few pangs at having to leave all that lovely countryside when it came time to depart.

I don’t go away much, but it did occur to me how one very fundamental thing about holidays has changed forever for me since I was diagnosed. Before, the whole idea of a holiday was to ‘get away from it all’, to be footloose and fancy-free, without a care in the world, let yourself go…and a thousand other clichés that are clichés because they are true! Not any more, alas! I can’t leave my diabetes behind or forget about it, in fact I have to think about it even more as I am away from my usual routine, eating different meals at different times, different activities – all can have an impact on your diabetes, your insulin doses and of course, your blood sugar levels. I also had to get organised so that I wouldn’t forget any of my essential supplies. Extra worry at the airport in case someone challenged me about all those needles and mysterious liquids. Worry in case anything should go wrong, even though I wasn’t leaving the country – what if my pen broke or the insulin leaked or got too hot?

Thankfully, I didn’t forget anything, was waved through at the airport, had some lovely meals in lovely surrounding and with some fine people, oh! and a few colourful sheep sculptures! Here are a few pictures:

Run Success Hurrah!

2010-08-27T12:37:00.000+01:00

Cobden-Mousehole-Bitterne

After Sunday’s almost complete fail I decided that the most likely cause of my panic attack symptoms was the increased blood pressure medications I had started taking the night before. In my head, being prevented from running in order to take some pills seems completely wrong, so I decided to go back to the previous dose, which I appear to be able to tolerate. My health is clearly improving anyway, and running can only help that. I have been having to reduce my insulin requirements over the past two weeks – novorapid is now down by about 40% and lantus down by an astonishing 60%. I’m now on such a low dose of lantus that, pretty soon, I’ll be spraying more into the air with my pre-injection airshot than I will actually be injecting!

The strategy appears to have worked. I went for a somewhat tentative run on Tuesday and managed a shortish two and a half miles. I’m still very slow in comparison to ‘the old me’, but you can’t hurry these things, plus I’m older, I broke my leg and I have diabetes! The run was fairly uneventful and pleasant – weather was conducive, being coolish and overcast, with a slight drizzle. I think the Scots describe such weather as ‘dreicht’! Had a couple of days off, then went for a three miler yesterday, again no real dramas!

Today, I decided that I should put Sunday’s demons to rest and tackle those hills again. This time, no sensations of panic (not that I felt panicked before, just the symptoms of such) and I was really surprised at how good my breathing was up the first hill. Given that the hill is at a gradient of over 30% I was pleased to discover that my pace had also improved on this section, now heading towards 11 minutes a mile. My legs were a slightly different matter, as they were still a little tired from yesterday, but a few weeks ago they would have been so tired I would hardly have been able to walk – so certainly progress there! I didn’t run as far as I had intended because I started to get the little twinges in my right calf that have put me out of action in the past, so I cut the route short. Still very challenging though, and very pleased with it!

A Wee Dram!

2010-08-26T17:07:00.000+01:00

Diabetes is an expensive disease to treat and manage, and costs are increasing all the time with new, more expensive therapies and an ever-increasing number of new diagnoses. How can these costs be reduced? Is there some way that we can take advantage of the natural sweetness of a diabetic’s urine – first observed in ancient times and giving the disease its name – and generate some kind of income from it?

Indeed there is! London designer James Gilpin has proposed using the sugar-heavy urine excreted by diabetics to ferment high-end single whisky! Imagine then, the scenario: diabetics regularly attending at their local distillery in order to supply this valuable resource, gaining credits in return in order to fund their treatment! The resultant spirit can then be sold throughout the world, carrying the renowned imprimatur of the Scottish Government!

(With huge thanks to @CureT1Diabetes for the inspiration!)

Another diabetic? Ah! Please just join the queue
And pick a flagon of your choice from those in front of you.
I hope you’ve been behaving, and kept those levels high!
We have to keep the quality up – it’s hard, but we must try!

What’s that? You’ve never done this? You’re newly-diagnosed?
Then let me tell you what the Scottish Government has proposed!
You’ll know it costs a lot to treat you, now you’re diabetic?
Well here’s a way we’re hoping that you’ll help us to offset it!

You’ll have to come here twice a week to earn your testing strips,
And glug a flagon of this juice – no dainty little sips!
You might try eating salted nuts to sharpen up your thirst,
Then hopefully your bladder will be full up fit to burst!

Then make your way just over there – you’ll see a wooden trough,
Try to hold your breath because the smell might make you cough!
When you’re finished, shake your thing so we don’t lose a drop,
And in return then you will earn a voucher for our shop!

You’ll find a nice selection there of whiskies we’ve produced –
We sell them all around the world, so health costs are reduced!
So, if you’ve ever wondered what’s beneath a Scotsman’s kilt,
It’s a pint or two of liquid gold, and ne’er a drop is spilt!

Go on! Have a pie!

2010-08-25T12:57:00.000+01:00

Why is it in this health-conscious age, with government campaigns ringing in our ears, that so many food establishments fail to act and provide good, wholesome and healthy fare? Recently a lady on the forum related a tale of how, in a health and fitness club or all places, she had found it virtually impossible to purchase food that would satisfy her hunger without clogging up her arteries, spiking her blood sugar levels and sending her blood pressure through the roof. She was compelled to bring her own food, but warned by the manager that this was against the rules and she would risk getting her membership cancelled if she persisted. Here’s how I imagine the conversation went…

I’m so sorry madam, you can’t eat that here,
We’ve a rule against bringing in food,

You’ll find what we offer is healthy and fresh,
So don’t eat your own – that’s just rude!

Our menu is here, please read and you’ll see
The wonderful things that we sell!
Both savoury and sweet, vegetarian and meat,
And a wide range of soft drinks as well!

For our sandwiches we use only fine refined bread,
As white as the snows before Spring!
We can fill it with Spam, crispy bacon or jam,
Or sausages fit for a king!

Ah! I see our pork pies have just caught your eye!
They’re served with a big plate of chips!
Come on, don’t deny that you’d love one to try!
I can see that you’re licking your lips!

What’s that? A nice salad? No, I don’t think we do,
There’s never much call for that here…
We’ve some nice battered fish you could have if you wish –
We make all our batter with beer!

Now, to wash it all down, then you could go to town
With a full sugar energy drink!
The cups are so big if you fell in you’d drown,
And there’s no finer tonic – don’t you think?

What’s that? You’ll decline? Well, I feel I must say
That you look like you need a good meal!
For you’re thinner each day, like you’re wasting away,
Just imagine how much better you’d feel!

Run-Fail-Why?

2010-08-22T11:31:00.000+01:00

Run - fail :(

I was all set this morning for a good run of around four miles or so up and down some of the local hills – blood sugar was at a good starting point (9.3mmol/l – 167 mg/dl), legs had recovered from Friday’s run, I had food in my belly and the weather appeared good, overcast and a little humid, but dry. However, within half a mile of setting off I felt absolutely awful! For some reason, as soon as I set off I felt a surge of adrenalin course through my body. Adrenalin is fine if you’re a sprinter, but for long distance, aerobic running it’s something that you only really want when you need to pass the runners in rhino costumes at the end of a marathon to save you from humiliation! The effect of this was to make my heart start racing, my breathing to become por and erratic, and the muscles of my legs to fill with lactic acid, making them instantly weak and devoid of energy. Within half a mile, I felt I had no choice but to stop running and try walking for a while whilst I recovered. By now, I was feeling very hot and light-headed. After I had recovered a little I tried running again, but very quickly the sensations came back and I took the decision to turn round and return home.

I absolutely HATE giving up on a run! It’s this stubbornness that has got me to the end of many a race, often miles past the point where something was telling me I ought to stop – most notably in The Hague half marathon in 2008, the year of my diagnosis. I’m sure that, had I known my blood sugar levels during that race I would have been flagging down the ambulance – but I made it! So what happened this morning? It has taken me a good hour or so to feel fully recovered, although I still feel a little light-headed. My blood sugar had remained largely unchanged at 9.6 (173) on my return so it wasn’t a sudden rise or fall in that. Thinking about it, I appear to have suffered all the symptoms of a panic or anxiety attack, but with no discernible cause.

The only thing I can attribute it to is that last night I took the first increased dose of my blood pressure medication, so I’m wondering if the symptoms were a result of a sudden rise then fall in my blood pressure at the start of my run. I’m tempted to go back to the old dose of medication, as I know my blood pressure has been improving and I suspect the slightly high reading the doctor took last Thursday was high partly due to the anxiety of having it checked. Given the huge changes in my blood sugars and insulin requirements over the past couple of weeks, it’s perfectly reasonable (in my head!) that I might also be getting a significant improvement in blood pressure that simply wasn’t indicated in the single test performed by the doctor. However, since I don’t have any equipment to accurately test my BP at home – I have a wrist monitor that invariably shows the same figures! – this can only be speculation. I’ll have to weigh up the options of whether it is worth ignoring the doctor’s advice and not increasing the medication.

So annoyed that I couldn’t complete my run!

It's behind you! An alternative to injections?

2010-08-21T17:24:00.000+01:00

Is there a solution for those poor insulin-dependent diabetics who have needle phobia? A less embarrassing method of delivering insulin when in a club or restaurant than having to get out all that paraphernalia and drawing attention to yourself? Apparently so – a company called Oramed Pharmaceuticals have been working on a different method of delivering insulin, via rectal insertion of a suppository! Imagine how much more socially acceptable this would be than injecting in public – how could anyone possibly object to someone pushing something up their behind before eating? Oh, if only Messrs Banting and Best had put their energies into this method of delivery, then we wouldn’t all be marked out as druggies and junkies by a shocked and disgusted Joe Public!

Ah, welcome Mr Jones, to your annual review!
I hope that you’ve been keeping well?
There’s been an advancement – it’s something quite new,
You can’t wait to hear, I can tell!

I know that, for you, there’s a deep-seated fear
Of each insulin injection you face,
You might even say it’s a pain in the rear,
Well, here’s something I’m sure you’ll embrace!

‘What? Is it a pill I can swallow each night?
Oh, that would be perfect for me!
For, try as I might, needles give me a fright,
And hurt like the sting from a bee!’

Not a pill that you swallow, though you’re on the right lines,
Nor a patch or a gum that you chew…
Now I hope you don’t mind, please expose your behind,
And I’ll just ‘introduce’ it to you!

There now, that didn’t hurt! Did you feel any pain?
It’s quick and so easy to do!
Oh dear, it’s popped out! I’ll just try it again…
Now don’t squeal or fart till I’m through!

You’ll soon get the hang, when you’re out on the town,
Of inserting this handy suppository!
You just need to turn round, pull your trousers right down,
And discreetly fill your rectal depository!

Ups and downs – hills and blood sugar!

2010-08-21T10:10:00.000+01:00

Cobden-Glenfield

I’ve managed to get out for 5 runs in the past 8 days, which is a huge improvement over my previous efforts. Not running very far, as yet, but the runs are challenging nonetheless, involving some very steep ascents and descents that test the legs and lungs! I’ve come to the conclusion that I run much better on such varied terrain. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to me, as most of my early running days were on the big hills of Sheffield and the Peak District, but I think I had started to forget this and have been, until recently, only running through the park where the terrain is only ever so slightly undulating.

Cobden-Mousehole-Peartree

This fact was proven to me in the fourth of my recent runs. For the previous three, I had run a demanding and varied hilly course and had thought that to then run on the flat would be a piece of cake – far from the truth! I found it much harder, not so much on the heart and lungs, but on my legs which quickly tired and left me aching for two days afterwards. It seems I’m much better suited to the effort and challenge of a hill, followed by the relief and recovery of crowning it and running down the other side. I think I also get a bit bored now running through the park as I have done the same route countless times over the past 10 years, so the change is very welcome!

Riverside Park-Mansbridge

My fitness is improving accordingly as is, I hope, my health. I had a visit to my doctor this week and there has been an improvement in my blood pressure, although it is still a little on the high side so my medication has been increased slightly. I also asked about my recent retinopathy scan and the worrying news that I now have ‘moderate diabetic eye disease. The doctor had a letter that provided more detail – apparently, what I have is still the background retinopathy reported last year, but the specialist had observed deposits rather closer to the macula than might be hoped for. Really, it’s the luck of the draw as these deposits can form anywhere on the retina, it just so happens in my case that they are potentially threatening the one area that is chiefly responsible for central vision. I don’t know yet if I will require any treatment for this, so I have an anxious wait until my aapointment at the eye hospital comes through.

Cobden-Midanbury-Woodmill-Riverside Park

There has been another, rather profound effect on me from my increase activity levels – my blood sugar levels have started to drop at such a rate that it has been hard to keep up by lowering my insulin doses. Two nights in a row I was awoken with hypos of 2.1 mmol/l (38 mg/dl) and 2.7 mmol/l (49 mg/dl), despite having snacks before bed. Thanks goodness I woke up! I have been lowering my basal insulin (lantus) as well as lowering my meal boluses (novorapid), but still battling lows so the effect of the exercise is even more profound than I can predict! I seem to be just about getting it right now, having reduced my lantus from 8 units to 5 and being very sparing with my meal bolus. My total daily dose is now around 30 units, with my basal comprising less than 20% of the total – normally, the split should be around 40-50% of TDD! Perhaps I’m nearly cured!

Hoping for another, longer run tomorrow, I’m already feeling a lot healthier and have much more energy, although I’m still a little on edge when going to sleep at night because of those hypos as they were the first night ones I have had for several months.

Silly Sally Sugar Lump

2010-08-19T15:03:00.001+01:00

There’s a lot of talk these days about the modern Western diet and how it is contributing to the rising numbers of people being diagnosed with diseases such as diabetes and cancer. Processed foods are often made more palatable by including varying amounts of sugar, salt or fat. Less sugar often means more fat, and vice versa, so it’s hard to keep track of how far off a healthy diet any particular foodstuff will take you. For this reason, I tend to cook my own food from fresh ingredients whenever possible, but it is still difficult to avoid the salt and sugar in so many foods where it might not be expected, certainly in the quantities often used. Manufacturers include these elements because they know that our palate and brains crave them, and without them food may taste bland and uninteresting.

Since my diagnosis I’ve become a lot more careful of the food I buy, checking packets before purchase and comparing products to make sure that I am buying the healthiest of what is available. However, although companies are now obliged to print the quantities of constituents in a standardised format, this standardisation does not apply to the size or clarity of the text – so I can often be found whipping out my spyglass (so to speak) so that I can read the tiny print on packaging. I feel this is wrong, and is effectively hiding that information from me – possibly even discriminating against me because my eyesight does not match that of a hawk in its prime, and making it more difficult for me to make decisions about carbohydrate content that are crucial to my blood sugar control! It’s like any ‘small print’ really, that is a legal obligation to display, but there are no rules on whether it should be actually legible to a person with average vision.

I feel a campaign coming on – writing to food manufacturers asking for an explanation of why they choose to effectively hide this important information away. I think I know the reason, but it would be interesting to see how they wriggle out of their obligation!

Silly Sally Sugar Lump would often take the blame,
For making humans huge as hills just mentioning her name!
She knew that humans fell for her, and longed for her sweet kiss,
So she’d hide away in all their food, the wicked little miss!

She had a friend called Sammy Salt, so similar in name,
And he agreed it would be fun to join in Sally’s game!
And though they tasted different, they hid themselves quite well,
Blending in with savoury and sweetened food as well!

Sally hid in Chinese food, as spicy as could be,
And Sammy hid in puddings which you might think are salt-free!
Then governments decided they would stop their little racket,
By forcing companies making food to name them on the packet!

But governments had missed a trick, so companies were free
To hide the names by writing them as tiny as can be.
So humans often overlooked just what their food contained,
And their pernicious influence on taste buds still remained.

It’s time to make it obvious, for they can harm our health,
Though Sally’s game has made her name, and no doubt fame and wealth!
A little Sally does us good, she cheers our heart and mind,
But too much Sally day-by-day you’ll find is not so kind!

As for Sammy Salt, you’ll find that we need him to live,
Too much of him, however is a certain negative –
So count each gram that you consume, and never more than six,
Eat both in moderation and be wary of their tricks!

Diabetic tamagotchis...

2010-08-18T16:18:00.001+01:00

One of the people on the diabetes forum suggested that it would be a good idea if trainee medics were made to carry around and care for a tamagotchi-type thing that was programmed with diabetes. They’d have to check its levels, feed it, ‘inject’ it, cope with activity and illness etc. Then, at the end of the training period the tamagotchi could be checked for its ‘HbA1c’ to see how well they had been looked after.

Of course, the device would be programmed with all the variables that make life as a diabetic so interesting and fun, plus a few random unknowns just to spice things up every now and again! At the review, the medics whose devices had fared badly would be castigated for their poor control – taking no heed of their protestations about inexplicable readings and assurances they had been working as hard as they could…

Welcome to the lecture! Now this may sound prophetic,
But by the time you leave this room , you’ll all be diabetic!
Don’t worry, we’re not going to tie your pancreatic duct,
But take part in some training that is often overlooked!

You’ve read all about diabetes - that’s all well and good,
But that is generalistic, so I think that you all should
Discover how much work’s involved to keep your levels steady,
So take your tamagotchis and start them when you’re ready!

I’m sure from all your reading you’ll know where you should begin?
For every gram of carb you eat, then you must type it in,
And if you’ve done some exercise, like gardening and such.
That might affect your levels, so estimate how much…

And if you get a virus, then your levels might climb high
And sometimes you’ll be really bad, but never find out why!
And maybe in the morning, as you watch the rising Sun,
You’ll be afflicted by the lovely dawn phenomenon!

Those of you on insulin, you’re all allowed to test,
If not, then we won’t let you as you might become obsessed!
I’d like to see you all back here when three months have gone by
Be warned – if you should fail we’ll want to know the reason why!

Three months pass...

Ah Jones! Your tamagotchi isn’t looking very good!
I can’t believe you’ve tried at all, I thought you understood?
Your A1c is dreadful, so can you please explain?
Or must I just repeat myself time and time again?

What’s that? This diabetes lark is harder than you thought?
But you said when you started it was nothing of the sort!
Perhaps you’ll have more empathy when patients come to you,
And acknowledge the complexities they speak about are true!

Pick a cure, any cure…

2010-08-16T13:18:00.000+01:00

I’m becoming increasingly disturbed at the deceitful, exploitative charlatans that purport to be offering ‘cures’ for diabetes. Often, their ‘treatments’ or ‘methods’ are potentially life-threatening, playing on the fears of vulnerable people for pecuniary gain. There is currently NO CURE for diabetes. It can be managed, sometimes to the extent that a person can live a full and healthy life without the need for medication – but even then, it is never cured. Should such a person indulge just once on the wrong foods, it will quickly become all too apparent that they are not cured, but still subject to their body’s inability to cope with the resultant glucose in the way that a non-diabetic person could.

Some of the following are actually presented as ‘cures’, offered to millions on a daily basis, and no doubt drawing in a few unsuspecting souls who are convinced by the pseudo-medical mumbo-jumbo that supports their vaunted claims. See if you can guess which ones are being aggressively marketed on the web at this very moment!

Drinking bleach, magnetic water,
The toenails of your first-born daughter,
Wearing tin foil underwear,
Eye of newt and nose of bear,
Whelk infusions, ultrasound,
Keep your earlobes tightly bound,
Drink fresh rat milk every night,
Never eat an egg that’s white,
Spend a weekend with a goat,
Wear some seaweed round your throat.
If a pig is facing West,
Rub some pickles on your chest,
Eat raw carrots by the pound,
Only eat a fruit that’s round,
Bathe each night in fresh manure –
All these guaranteed to cure!

If these don’t work, or you feel funny,
We don’t care – we’ve got your money!

Running the Southampton Alps!

2010-08-15T11:51:00.001+01:00

Cobden-Mousehole-Peartree

I’m starting to get into a bit more of a routine now with the running, with three runs in the past four days. I had to take yesterday off as my legs were a little on the sore side from Thursday and Friday’s runs. It seems I may be getting a little addicted to the challenge of big hills at the moment. I could have gone for a relatively fast and flat run through the park alongside the river this morning, but I had a route in my mind that was an extension of last weeks ups and downs, but without the unintended loop back due to the map inaccuracies. This would take me on a wider loop, which turned out (as you can see in the pictures) to be almost heart-shaped!

Why all this determination to get back running again? Well, apart from the fact that I have the Great South Run to run in October, I got a bit of a shock the other day. A week ago I went for my annual diabetic retinal scan. After they’ve taken the pictures you have to wait to see if they will send you a letter. Getting the letter is not good news – at my hospital they only send you one if they have found something of concern. Unfortunately, on Thursday, I got the letter. It said that I have ‘moderate diabetic eye disease’, which is a worsening from the ‘background retinopathy I was told I had last year. My first thoughts were that I was going blind and I’ve only been diagnosed two years – how can this be happening to me? My HbA1c has been practically perfect since I got things under control, with numbers of 11.8, 6.8, 5.2, 5.4, 5.6 and 5.6 (the frist number was diagnosis, the one after about six weeks later). What do these numbers mean? Well, ideally, the HbA1c should be below 6.5 in order to minimise the damage that diabetes can do to the small blood vessels – particularly those in the eyes and kidneys. With my numbers I am well under that figure.

So, why has my retinal scan shown deterioration? The answer is more than likely the high blood pressure I have been suffering for several months now, as this is also a big factor, alongside diabetes, in determining how healthy or otherwise your eyes are. So, it’s a warning to me that I have to get the BP down so no further damage is done. As things stand, it is unlikely that I will need treatment, just more regular eye checks. The problem may even improve if I start looking after myself better. So, that is my aim – I already have very good blood sugar control, now I need to take every possible step to make sure my blood pressure is perfect!

Cobden-Glenfield

A lot of the steps I will be taking currently seem to involve running up huge hills! I’m happy to say, though, that I have seen a rapid improvement already in my pace around these hilly courses. Thursday’s run was 11 min/mile pace, and Friday’s 10 min/mile pace over the same route. Today’s run was slower, but I’m building more distance already, so now up to 3.1 miles (5k). I’m sure I could have managed a much quicker and longer run if I had opted for the flatter route! Main thing is not to get injured. My legs are not as young as they used to be, so can take a little longer to recover – I need to resist the cravings for endorphins and make sure I take rest days. Might not be too difficult, given the weather that is being forecast!

Farts versus Injections

2010-08-14T11:42:00.001+01:00

There was a story in Wigan Today recently about a customer in a pub restaurant complaining when a woman with Type 1 diabetes injected at her table just prior to eating her meal. He claimed that she had upset his children and likened the act to the same social unpleasantness as breaking wind in public. Rather than taking the opportunity to educate his children about the unfortunate need for some people to inject in order to stay alive, instead he no doubt instilled in them the same prejudices he himself displayed.

So, are farts in restaurants more acceptable than injections? Let’s see what transpired…

Excuse me, I’m sorry, I must ask you to leave,
For our customers are shocked and distressed,
And there’s been a complaint that you made someone faint,
And the management are far from impressed!

But what did I do? I’m innocent, I say!
I was just sat here eating my meal!
I’m embarrassed and hurt by the things you assert,
Have you no care for how I might feel?

If anyone should leave, then that woman over there
Just frightened my kids by injecting!
So disgusting and crude, alarming and rude,
It is her that you should be ejecting!

So, you claim that a lady who must do that to live,
In a restaurant is far less befitting
Than to lift up one cheek and let out a slow leak
Of the gases that you were emitting?

I admit that I trumped, but it wasn’t so loud,
I don’t see what there is to discuss!
What did I do wrong? It didn’t take long,
I don’t see why you’re making a fuss!

Sir, injections are fine just before you can dine,
But a fart is a toilet-based act!
It is far from discreet and puts folk off their meat,
So in future, remember that fact!

Southampton Forum Meet!

2010-08-07T22:54:00.000+01:00

Had a fantastic day meeting up with my fellow DM'ers here in Southampton today! Biggest surprise of the day was when Katie turned up - she's supposed to be in Australia! As usual, when in the company of diabetics, my levels hit double figures for much of the day, but it is always worth it!

Only took a few piccies, so here they are:

Nikki, Tom and Shiv

Duane, Sam and Amy

Fellow Bitterne Parkers!

Katie!

Nosh!

Lots of healthy chips 'n' stuff!

Thank you Mr Map – not!

2010-08-01T16:40:00.000+01:00

I was itching to get out for my run this morning – I had the route running through my head all of yesterday and was looking forward to the challenge. Back on Monday I reconnoitred a route that would involve even more monstrous hills than the ones I ran last Sunday, which now appear positively Lilliputian by comparison!

It’s still fairly early on in my efforts to get back to running decent distances, so I was a little apprehensive about how things might go. The start of the run took me up the same road as last week, but this time instead of turning off I kept running upwards. I had a quick glance at my Garmin as I reached the crest of the hill and saw that it was exactly half a mile. Gradient on this section was 14%, which may not sound much, but go out and find such a hill and you’ll understand that such a hill would not be found in Holland! More was to come. I was happy that my breathing was good - I have a good sense of how to pace my efforts, whatever the terrain, after 30 years of running experience.

The hill was followed by an even steeper descent. Many people might imagine that, slow as the climb might be expected to be, surely you would make up time on the descent, but that’s not quite true. Going up stresses the muscles of course, but the main limiting factor is the heart and lungs – you have to be able to take in enough oxygen to feed those muscles. Going downhill, however, brings a different set of problems. You can recover your oxygen debt as gravity assists your downward trajectory, but the impact stresses on muscles and joints is far more extreme. Over three times your body weight will be the impact force with each footfall, and given that I am currently heavier than I have ever been, this is considerable for me at the moment. I also bear in mind that my leg once snapped due to such stresses and that tends to temper my pace!

I then had a flattish stretch, just a slight incline before coming to what I expected to be my biggest challenge – a huge uphill section that was at an incline of 28%! I was struggling towards the top, I will admit, and thankful for the subsequent flat section before running steeply down again. I had expected that that would be the end of my need to run skywards, but not to be! I had taken a quick glance at a map beforehand, and estimated that I could escape the traffic of the main road over the last section by running down a side road, connecting to another road at the bottom and then having a flat remaining run home. Stupid map! Significant detail had been omitted (as I discovered later when looking online), meaning that I now had little choice but to run back up to the summit of the original hill that I had started from, this time from the opposite side. On this side of the hill the incline was 22%, so a real lung-burster at this stage! A final long descent then brought me home.

I was very pleased with my achievement. Although it again appears slow, the hills involved were huge and yet I still managed to keep going all the way. I’m sure that, as my fitness improves, I will be moving much faster up them so my overall pace will improve considerably. The run has given me great confidence to start extending future runs – just hope I can stay injury free for the duration! Love those endorphins! Hoping my legs won’t suffer quite so much as they did last week! Blood sugar levels weren’t bad – 8.1 mmol/l before (146 mg/dl) and 9.4 mmol/l after (169 mg/dl).

Apologies for no poetry lately – the Muse has deserted me for the time being! I have one or two ideas though, so hope to include a few over the coming week. Please look back through the archives!

Getting better, slowly!

2010-07-30T10:25:00.001+01:00

My legs have finally recovered from Sunday’s hills sufficiently to tackle another run this morning. Thought I would try a slight extension to my recent runs through the park. I’m not worrying about times at the moment, apart from time on my feet, as I need to get some stamina and endurance built up. Going into oxygen-debt by running faster than I can currently sustain is pointless, so I just ran the route I intended, staying well within my aerobic capacity.

Things were fairly quiet – it’s strange how so much of the road traffic disappears when the school holidays start, I can only imagine (not having kids) that much of the rush hour congestion is caused by over-protective two-car parents driving their little darlings to the school gates rather than let them burn off any precious calories with a bit of a walk...

The air was cooler than of late, and still, meaning that I quickly began to heat up. The riverbanks were exposing their muddy banks, dark brown dotted with white where seagulls foraged for worms amidst the traffic cones and shopping trollies. Actually, it’s not that bad, the river is pretty clean. It’s very tidal, so when the tide is out just a narrow channel remains, revealing just how shallow the river is, despite its broad expanse. As I ran the Sun began to burn off the cloud cover and I began to heat up some more!

Thankfully, I wasn’t overwhelmed with dogs on the run, just a couple of mongrels more interested in the saliva-soaked balls that their owners were casting around for them to chase. It seems that modern dog-owners have cottoned on to just how gross a dog-spit drenched tennis ball is, so they no longer throw them by hand, but employ some kind of plastic launcher – such are the advancements of modern civilisation…

My legs were rather heavy over the last half mile, but that means that they managed the previous two and a bit without too much distress, which is an improvement as it means I’m gaining a stronger base. I’ve found in the past it takes me about three weeks to get back into being able to run a regular 5-7 miles, although as I’ve got older it does seem to be closer to three weeks rather than two! I’ve wondered about the diabetes too, whether that is having an effect on my endurance and recovery, or if I’m just finding that an easier thing to blame than the fact that I’m not the Spring chicken I used to be!

Levels were 7.9 mmol/l (142 mg/dl) before the run and 7.3 mmol/l (131 mg/dl) afterwards, which I was pleased with. I don’t adjust my insulin before the run, although I know of some people that either take none or at the very least reduce it by a considerable amount. For me, the effect comes afterwards, so that’s when I change my ratios – although it’s a completely subjective, finger-in-the-air adjustment, based largely on instinct and experience. I’ve also taken to injecting about 15 minutes before eating, as I’ve discovered that I often spike early, however GI-conscious I’ve been with my food choices. This morning’s readings indicate that I got it just right. 362 calories burned, but I’m not shifting any weight at all. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment next Thursday to see if my blood pressure has improved – if not, I’m likely to be threatened with more medication, which I’d really rather not have, so hoping staying off the booze for the past couple of weeks, plus the exercise, will have me nice and steady at 130/80e

My poem was read out at the No Sugar Added book launch!

2010-07-28T19:58:00.003+01:00

About a minute in, a couple of lines from my poem are read out in this short video - I'm presuming they read the whole thing out! Weird to see people I've never met over on the other side of the world reading out my poem publicly! Exciting! Buy the book!

GSR Training update

2010-07-28T11:04:00.001+01:00

Well, my poor leg muscles were totally wrecked after Sunday's hilly run! Why oh why did I choose to live in a two-storey house - the steps are pure torture! Interestingly, my left ('good') leg was significantly more sore than my right ('bad') leg. I've noticed this in the past, and can only presume it is because I tend to favour that leg and make it do more than its fair share of the work since breaking the other. So, I had a couple of days off from the running, despite my desire to get out there - it would have been folly, and embarassing! I did, however, go on a recce on Monday, seeking out even more monstrous inclines for future runs. I went on a wider three mile circuit of my home which involved some truly challenging hills that dwarfed those I ran on Sunday - definitely something to attempt in the near future, and something that I know I could extend for 10-15 miles around town now that I know where the new route fits into place. Rather shamefully, some of these local hills, less than half a mile from home, were new to me despite living in the area for nearly 11 years - I guess I've never had any reason to go off in that direction, and maybe been put off by the steepness!

I was hoping to have been recovered sufficiently by today to attempt a gentler run through the park, but the soreness, although diminished, is still there. Instead, I decided to join Gay Gasper (in the picture) on her 15 minute abs workout and followed this up with an 8k exercise bike session - both being low-impact. OK, I know that's not a lot, but it's something, and hopefully it will help keep my blood sugars in line, as they have been improving after last week's climb. Hoping for a run tomorrow!

Up hill, down dale!

2010-07-25T16:31:00.000+01:00

OK, I’ve been laid up again with a muscle strain, so getting back into running is coming in fits and starts. When I was younger I would probably have just run through such an injury, but it’s surprising (or maybe not!) how much it focuses your mind on recovering fully when your femur once snapped at mile 23 of a marathon. I think the problem stemmed from the fact that I have a big nail going through my leg from front to back, about three inches above my knee – this has created a lot of internal scar tissue and altered the physiology of the leg somewhat.

Anyway, excuses over! I have been feeling a little jaded with running through the park – beautiful though it is – and fancied tackling something a little different today. A couple of days ago I was walking down one of the steep local hills, of which there are many around where I live, and I saw a girl running up on the other side. I was impressed. I don’t know what the actual gradient is, but it is steep, and it reminded me of my time in the Peak District when I too could run up such a precipitous climb! So, in an attempt to recapture my youth (that’s early-30s!) I decided I would go on a tour of the hills in the neighbourhood.

Starting from home, the first half mile was entirely, and heart-thumpingly, uphill. I had no preconceived notion of how I might cope, just concentrated on managing my breathing and running at the edge of my aerobic capacity. I knew it would be slow, but hey – this was my first such run in a while, and a course I had not previously tackled. I didn’t want to be a heaving, panting wreck after the first five minutes! Surprisingly, I managed to reach the first turn without too much distress, and suddenly I was descending quickly down a road whose steepness on the opposite direction impacted a completely different set of muscles and joints, or so it seemed! A pretty road with trees and large houses, nicely shaded and peaceful.

Eventually emerging at the bottom I took a short turn right, then right again to run upwards again, not quite achieving the ascent of the first climb, but not far off. A left turn down as I broached the brow of the hill, then another left and back down a road running parallel to the one I had just wheezed my way up. I was impressed I was still moving at this point, but decided to finish off the run with a little roundabout run to extend the route a little further and finally reaching home and blessed sanctuary for my bursting lungs and heavy legs.

Slow, and not that far, but not bad for a first attempt, so I’ll definitely be adding (and probably extending) it to my repertoire of routes, with every intention of stepping up the pace in future and smashing my rather embarrassing current personal best! After a shower and a short rest I then repeated the entire route, this time with my camera to record for posterity!

Distance: 2.09 miles (followed by a walk of the same distance!)
Time: 23’ 07”
Weather: warm and cloudy.
BG before: 10.4
BG after: 9.8
Ascent: 429ft
Descent: 386ft

Who needs a psychic octopus when you've got diabetes?

2010-07-24T16:32:00.001+01:00

Recently, I’ve noticed that my blood sugar levels have been higher than I’m normally used to seeing, plus giving myself extra insulin doesn’t quite seem to do the trick. For example, this time last week I had a total daily dose (TDD) of 28 units of insulin – yesterday I had 43 units, but still ran high levels for part of the day. How to explain this? Well, with diabetes (and the ability to measure your blood sugar with a meter) you can see how your body is beginning to fight an infection before you feel any other symptoms. In my non-diabetic days, the first I would have known that I had caught a cold or stomach bug would have been when I started sneezing, sniffling or feeling poorly. Now I can become aware of it at least two or three days earlier, effectively seeing into the future! Of course, my pre-cognition only extends as far as personal illness is concerned, not predicting the outcome of World Cup Finals, so Paul the Octopus still has his niche! But I’m working on a way to get my diabetes to help me predict lottery numbers – perhaps my meter is trying to tell me something…!

Who needs a psychic octopus,
The future to foretell?
A cold Cassandra cephalopod,
When I can do as well?

Who needs a mentalist mollusc,
Who crawls the ocean floor,
To tell us what the future holds,
When my meter tells me more?

For, blessed with diabetes
My predictive powers are strong,
And unlike squid or nautilus,
I’m very rarely wrong!

So when my levels start to climb,
But nothing else seems wrong,
Then be assured that I will be
Quite ill before too long!

Before this foul disease took hold,
I lacked this inbuilt sense,
Consulting eight-limbed oracles
For my fate a few days hence.

But now I plan to make me rich –
My meter holds the key!
And when I get the numbers right,
I’ll win the lottery!

Hurrah for diabetes!

Oh Phoebe, Phoebe!

2010-07-22T14:34:00.000+01:00

Forum member Phoebe had a strange experience the other night. She had a dream where she was sat up in bed and there were paramedics at the foot of the bed and her husband was trying to get her to eat something sweet – but why should she? And who were these people? She just wanted to sleep! Happily, the story ended well!

I think I’d like this dream to end,
Why are these people here?
I don’t remember who they are,
Did you invite them dear?

Oh Phoebe, eat your glucotab,
You know they taste so good!
You need to eat them so there’ll be
More sugar in your blood!

Oh no, I won’t! You can’t make me!
I’ll keep my mouth tight shut!
So bobble off, be on your way!
Ah, that was nicely put!

Oh Phoebe, drink your lucozade,
You know you love the taste!
It’s open and it will go flat,
Don’t let it go to waste!

I won’t! I won’t! Just leave me be!
I’d rather go to sleep!
So let me lay my head back down
On my pillow, soft and deep…

I’ll let you sleep, but only when
I see you eat these sweets!
OK, OK! For peace and quiet,
Then I’ll admit defeat!

Diabetic Days of Yore

2010-07-21T14:33:00.000+01:00

I was only diagnosed a couple of years ago and have been able to take advantage of all the wonderful advances that have been made in diabetes management, with the pace increasing all the time. Insulin pumps are becoming more widespread, often these days linked to continuous monitoring systems to establish even better blood sugar control than was possible before. Many people on the forum, diagnosed decades ago, remember how things used to be. I have even read the story of one person, Richard, who has been living with diabetes for over six decades and he recalls the early days of boiling syringes and chemical urine tests to determine sugar levels. Now the talk is of stem cell and islet transplantation, smart insulin and artificial pancreases – a long way from those difficult early days…!

I won’t forget those wise old words my Daddy said to me
As he sat down in his chair one night and perched me on his knee.
He said, ‘Son, diabetes wasn’t always so much fun,
So let me tell you how it was in 1931!’

Twice a day we’d drive to town, down to the abattoir,
Pick out a bovine pancreas and stow it in the car,
And when we got home Mum and Dad would mash that organ up,
And strain it through a muslin bag into a paper cup…

Then Dad would get some chemicals and boil them in a pan,
Adding bits of this and that with flourish and élan!
And meanwhile I would drink and drink until I had to pee,
And Mum would take a jar away, as swiftly as could be!

She’d add it to the chemicals, and if it turned bright red
Then I would have no supper and be sent off straight to bed.
But if it just turned yellowish, I’d have something to eat
Like carrots mashed in gravy, with sweet pickles for a treat!

I didn’t like the needles though, at least six inches long!
So Mum would jig around the room, distracting me with song!
And when he’d scraped the rust off, Dad would stick it in my butt,
I’d bite down on a leather strap to keep my mouth tight shut!

So, should you whinge and moan about how finger pricking’s bad,
Then pause to contemplate about the progress we have had.
We’ve gone from times when prospects for our future might seem poor,
To looking forward to the day that they announce the cure!

Wooohoo! Published!

2010-07-17T12:21:00.000+01:00

Just found out that Diabetes Hands Foundation (the people behind Tudiabetes) have released their poetry anthology 'No-sugar Added Poetry' - my poem 'Ode to a Perfect Pancreas' is one of the 39 poems featured in the book! Fame at last!

Diabetic Desiderata

2010-07-13T11:59:00.000+01:00

With thanks to the original author, Max Ehrmann, Desiderata (things to be desired) modified a little for diabetic sensitivities...

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

And remember that stress and cortisol may raise your levels.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with health care professionals of all types.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

except to the diet and diabetes police;

they just don’t get it.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexatious to good glycaemic control.

If you compare your HbA1c with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser numbers than your own.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own blood sugar diary, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in following fads and online cures,

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is in GI and GL diets;

many persons strive for perfect control,

and everywhere life is full of Joslin medalists.

Be yourself. Especially do not forget your insulin.

Neither be cynical about the bond between fellow sufferers,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the old timers,

remaining optimistic about the future for the young.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you should your retinopathy scan not be perfect.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of looking at the wrong sites on the internet.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

treat yourself from time to time.

You are a person with diabetes

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with your endocrinologist,

however lacking in knowledge you perceive him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,

make sure you have enough test strips.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Looking diabetic

2010-07-12T17:34:00.000+01:00

People often say ‘you don’t look diabetic’. What do they expect? A tattoo on the forehead? An extra limb, horns and a tail? Well, of course they usually mean ‘you’re not fat, how can you be diabetic?’ The public are continuously being misled into believing that diabetes is somehow a lifestyle choice – that if only we’d looked after our health better and maybe not eaten so many pies and sugar, then we could have avoided it. Not so. Although there is clear evidence that obesity can precipitate diagnosis of diabetes, particularly Type 2, it is not always the case – there are many, many obese people in the world who do not develop diabetes, and around 20% of those diagnosed with Type 2 are not overweight at diagnosis. Indeed, there is the possibility that the extra weight may be gained because of diabetes, and not the other way round, since abnormal insulin production to try and overcome insulin resistance can cause weight gain.

So how are the public to recognise diabetics if they are slim, active and otherwise healthy? A new government initiative reveals how…

It’s confirmed – you’re diabetic, so please join the queue,
The surgeon should be on his way,
It shouldn’t take long, there’s only a few…
What’s that? Do you have something to say?

Oh, didn’t they tell you? It’s really no good!
We must make you stand out in the street!
Some try to disguise it by wearing a hood,
But you can still pick them out by their feet!

Here is the leaflet, I’m sure it’ll explain,
And there’s a picture of what they attach.
It’s free for the ‘standard’, but if you are vain,
You can pay extra for attachments that match!

A moment if you please, you must sign this release
To donate them back when you’re dead…
Now hurry along, you’re next on the list,
Would you like to have green ones or red?

Oh dear! Does it hurt? That’ll soon go away,
And you’ll learn how to sleep on your back.
You’ll be able to walk, but not quite the same way –
I’m sure that you’ll pick up the knack!

Running convergence!

2010-07-11T18:42:00.000+01:00

I managed another run this morning. My head wants to get back that feeling of running fast and freely o’er hill and dale, although my legs are protesting that that was probably twenty years ago now. One of my favourite runs used to be down the Rivelin Valley, out of Sheffield and into the Peak District, up a steep forest trail bordering the reservoirs and then up on the top of the world for a fast, gravity-assisted descent. About six miles for that one, a lot of it at six minutes a mile. I used to relish the huge hills – flat is boring and doesn’t test your range sufficiently. There’s nothing like the sense of achievement of racing past a group of fully kitted out, lycra-clad cyclists on their expensive bikes with hundreds of gears, and seeing their faces grimace and eyes grow wide with astonishment. Broaching the brow of the hill and beginning the descent such a sweet relief after those last few oxygen-sapping yards and feeling the power return to muscles, heart and lungs!

OK, just a memory at the moment. Despite my head wanting all that, my legs are still a little bit heavy and sore from my previous run, although I have been able to negotiate stairs without any involuntary groaning, so there’s hope! It was nice and cool when I got up at 6:30 am, but the air temperature rapidly rose and became increasingly humid. Despite opening every window and door in the house, there was little air movement, and it draped around me like a moist, heavy blanket. Outside there was a slight breeze, but as I started out this seemed to disappear. I can only surmise that the breeze was blowing in the same direction I was running, and at the same rate – around six miles an hour.

Initially, the Sun was hidden by cloud, but a few minutes in began to shine bright and strong, so I braced myself for the accompanying heat which duly obliged. Quite a few dog walkers this morning, but tame animals more interested in the thrown balls and smells not discernible to my impressively large olfactory organ. That was until I remembered one of the most feared aspects of running through this park on a hot and humid day. Remembered is not the right word – rudely reminded is better. About a half mile into the park the rich, pungent stench of the sewage treatment works based on the opposite bank of the river filled the air around me. Bad enough trying to breath in this hot, humid soup of a summer’s day, but when the air is permeated with that fruity, sickly, gut-wrenching aroma it becomes a challenge of Herculean proportions. Well, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it did smell bad!

The smell did spur me on though, in an effort to escape its influence, although it did entail a mental battle between trying to breathe deeply whilst at the same time suppressing the urge to seal my mouth and nostrils. At that point a girl I had seen running the other way ran past me on her return. A girl!!! OK, I know it may sound a bit sexist but I don’t like being passed by a girl when running, especially when it appears that she is actually running quite slowly. If she looks slow, how slow do I look?!! She does look rather young and athletic though, so I am a little more accepting of my failure to keep pace. If telepathy were possible I’d want to say ‘OK, you passed me, but I bet you don’t have a broken femur, heart attack and diabetes to think of as you skip along the path!’ Well, I didn’t really have a heart attack, and my femur broke six years ago, but I still think she should consider these factors before smirking about her triumph!

And the convergence? One thing that always amazes me is when you can go out on a run in different circumstances, varying the route to keep things interesting, and feeling differently about your perceived speed and relative tiredness – and post exactly the same distance and virtually the same time! Not remarkable if you run the same route, but this morning’s run was quite a bit different at the halfway stage and finishing portion, but it was exactly the same distance, run 14 seconds faster (possibly due to slightly different terrain) and expending exactly the same number of calories (332 – surely at least another pound lost?). Blood sugar behaved – 8.9 mmol/l (160 mg/dl) at the start and 8.3 mmol/l (149 mg/dl) at the finish. If I didn’t use hardly any energy, why do I feel so exhausted?!!

Back on Track

2010-07-10T16:41:00.000+01:00

Starting back very much at square one with the running. It’s been a difficult year, starting off with very cold and treacherously icy weather, through a decent early spring, then injurt and the heat of summer. OK, that’s the excuses out of the way! I suppose I can blame the diabetes to some extent as well for removing the spontaneity from my running, but really it’s been largely a lack of motivation. My New Year challenge of 1000 miles and 1000 kilometres looks totally unfeasible at the moment, so I’m just going to do what I can and see where I stand at the end of the year.

So, despite the warnings of a very hot day, off I went this morning for my first real run in a couple of months! I wasn’t expecting to break any land speed records or astonish the watching crowds of park-goers with the brilliance of my athleticism, but just hoped that no-one would really pay much attention to the shambling, fat 50 year-old wheezing along the path…

Although the air temperature was warm, the Sun remained hidden, only starting to shine through the cloud cover as I neared the end of the run. That helped, as bright sunshine does sometimes make me feel a little nauseous which can affect my breathing. I felt slow much of the way round, but was pleasantly surprised to see my average pace at the end – bordering on jog/run pace, rather than amble/jog as I had expected. Just 2.5 miles in total in a little over 25 minutes, but it is early days yet and I need to build up some strength and stamina in my legs again. Not forgetting, of course, that I am currently carrying more weight than I am used to, and it’s not in a rucksack on my back so I can’t just leave it at home!

The park was quiet, generally, which was good as it made me feel less self-conscious which I always do when I’m not at peak fitness. There weren’t too many dogs, most of them were small, and all of them well-behaved, so no quick adrenaline bursts to set my heart racing beyond its limits! I was aware that, the further I ran out through the park, the further I would have to come back, but I pushed on, deciding to bear the consequences by perhaps doing a little walk/run on my return. As it turned out, I managed to keep going, although it did rather feel as though my legs were buckling from under me during the last half mile! The good thing was that my breathing was good, suggesting a good background cardiovascular fitness.

I recovered quite quickly, considering the heat, although thankful that I didn’t have to talk to anyone for five minutes or so whilst I stopped panting! I might try and get a battery for my heart rate monitor that goes with my Garmin Forerunner today, so I can see what’s happening to that. I used to have a resting heart rate of around 40 bpm at my fittest – it’s currently around 60 bpm, so it will be interesting to see if that comes down over the coming weeks.

Blood sugar was an unusually high 11.0 mmol/l (200 mg/dl) before the run, which was around 2 hours after breakfast – I’d normally expect around 8 mmol/l. On returning from the run it had come down to 7.5 mmol/l (135 mg/dl), so maybe it was good I started so high or I might have hypoed on the way back. Goodness knows what adjustments I might have to make to my meal bolus, and possibly basal insulin over the coming days and weeks! 332 calories expended, which must be at least a pound in weight – surely?!!!

Feeling the Pressure

2010-07-09T17:02:00.000+01:00

I went to the doctors yesterday to find out the results of some blood tests I had done earlier in the week. I was feeling a little nervous as I haven’t been particularly active over the past couple of months due to the hot weather and my knee injury – try as I might, running is the only form of exercise that I enjoy, and anything else is a poor substitute that bores me to tears!

First up was the HbA1c, the 6-12 week average of my blood sugar levels. Last October it was at a very comfortable 5.6%, but I expected an increase this time. Happily not! I was 5.6% again! Hurrah! Next, liver and kidneys – both fine, inner sigh of relief. Being less active and trying to stay cool in the hot weather had led me to imbibe rather more of the amber nectar than health authorities might recommend, so pleased I had escaped admonition. Then – cholesterol. I stopped taking the statins I had been prescribed eight months ago because I was suspicious about the effect they were having on me. Thankfully, my cholesterol was also fine at 4.5!

All well and good so far, but then came the deflating blow – my blood pressure is still high. This, despite increasing my medication. Very disappointing, although I still think there’s a big element of white coat syndrome that makes it high simply because I’m anxious and fearing the result! After discussion with the doctor we agreed that it may be due to the fact that my weight has increased quite a lot over the past few months, and reducing this (though I’m not actually overweight) should help lower the blood pressure. So it’s time to get serious and get out running regularly again! Strange for me – I’ve never had to think about losing weight before in my life, so I can only blame the diabetes…well, why not!

I need to lose nine kilograms,
That’s twenty pounds or so.
I lost an ounce, or twenty eight grams –
There’s hundreds more to go!

So thank you diabetes,
I’ve never been this way,
I’ve always been light, and that was despite
Eating four thousand calories a day!

A horse between two bread vans
Would constitute a delicate snack,
I’d eat at least two on my way out to work,
And another two on the way back!

It’s not because I am lazy,
Or fill up my belly with junk!
It’s you that I blame diabetes
For the fact that my gravy boat’s sunk!

So I’ll say farewell to you biscuits,
And go put my running shoes on,
I’ll be lighter than air and they’ll all wonder where
That nine kilos of lard can have gone!

Quantum Diabetes and Schroedinger’s Hypo

2010-07-08T14:41:00.003+01:00

I’ve always taken a layman’s interest in physics, from cosmology all the way down to particle physics and the quantum world. Sometimes, if I’m feeling a little down about my diabetes, I can take solace from the knowledge that the many worlds theory suggests that somewhere, in another universe, there is a ‘me’ who does not have diabetes. In fact, he’s probably a world-class marathon runner and polymath, admired and adored by all who hear his name, and happily married to Kate Bush.

The other day I was testing my blood, chiefly to see what my levels were before I partook of a tasty snack, and not for any reason of feeling that my levels might be low and in need of attention. I was therefore shocked and surprised to see a figure of 2.7 mmol/l (49 mg/dl), well below the point at which my world should have been swimming before me in a jittering, blurry haze! So, I was 2.7! Therefore I should be feeling quite pronounced symptoms, right? The instant I recognised this, the symptoms immediately set in and I was scrabbling for the jelly babies!

What can I conclude from this? That there is yet another type of hypo I can add to my ever growing list of experiences: the quantum, or Schroedinger’s hypo – one which only manifests itself when it is observed! If you don’t know who Schroedinger was, he was a physicist who proposed a thought experiment in the mid-1930s in response to the Copenhagen interpretation. Basically, the experiment went like this: place a cat in a sealed container which also contains a poisonous substance and a small amount of a radioactive element. The poison will be triggered by the particle decay of an atom, which may or may not happen, and therefore may or may not kill the cat. It is only by opening the container though, that the true state of the cat can be discovered. The act of observation fixes the quantum state – prior to that the state was in quantum flux and undefinable. (the experiment can be read in greater detail here)

Thus, a hypo which only generates symptoms when the blood sugar level is observed clearly operates on the same principle! I need to refine my theories a bit, but there might be a Nobel prize in this somewhere…

We’re all subject to the laws of physics,
I don’t think you’d argue with that!
So it follows that our dear diabetes
Might behave just like Schroedinger’s cat!

For a cat that is sealed in a container
May be subject to quantum events –
It will either survive and remain quite alive,
Or poof! In a flash, heaven sent!

It’s only upon observation
That we can learn of the poor moggie’s fate,
As we lift up the lid, did it die? Yes it did!
For we just fixed the true quantum state!

Likewise, with the strange quantum hypo,
That a random blood test may produce -
From out of nowhere, the hypo is there,
For reasons bizarre and obtuse!

Then once you have glanced at the number,
All at once your defences will slip,
And reality swirls as your neurons unfurl,
And the universe loses its grip!

To restore such a quantum imbalance
Take sugar as soon as you can!
For its fine crystalline carbon structure
Is the best antidote known to Man!

Why so glum?

2010-07-07T17:42:00.001+01:00

Lately, I’ve been reading the most appalling stories about the way people are getting diagnosed – or misdiagnosed – and the dreadful lack of proper advice, support and care they are receiving from their health care teams. How some of these medics can remain in practice and not be thoroughly ashamed of themselves, I do not know. People are being told they have diabetes and then simply being left to their own devices, or given poor and useless advice.

Of course, one of the topics that always crops up is that newly-diagnosed people are being refused test strips so that they can monitor the effects of diet and exercise modifications and determine what works best for them. This is terribly short-sighted, as establishing good habits early on is the best way for someone to remain healthy and capable of managing their diabetes well. Instead, people are either being forced to self-finance or wait until things deteriorate to a point where medication may be needed and possibly damage already done.

Given the huge effort being put into trying to alert people to the dangers of diabetes, why is it that so many are then being treated as though it’s no big deal after diagnosis? I personally received excellent care, and continue to do so, so I know that healthcare professionals are capable of delivering it. A person should leave their doctor’s surgery with a sound plan for their future care, a good basic understanding (and direction to where they can find out more) and hope for the future – that things don’t have to get worse before they are considered worthy of attention. The following may sound a little extreme, but it is frighteningly close to the truth for many people – shame on doctors who think like this!

OK, so you have diabetes,
But you don’t seem to have it too bad!
So just lose some weight, and I’m sure you’ll do great –
I don’t know why you’re looking so sad?

Why would you test your blood sugar?
It’s really not worth it for you…
It’ll make you depressed – believe me, I know best!
It’s a waste of good money in my view!

So make an appointment for next summer,
Then you should be sufficiently worse
For me to give you medication,
And a five minute chat with a nurse!

In the meantime, don’t eat any chocolate,
And be careful if you develop a cough,
For there’s every chance if you cough while you dance,
That one of your feet might fall off!

If you find that your eyesight gets blurry,
Or if you wake up and can’t see at all,
Take that as a clue it’s the right time for you
To give our receptionist a call…

Well, goodbye then, and see you next summer!
Please close the door as you go,
And don’t darken my doorstep until then –
I’ve told you all you need to know!

Rest Home for Retired Diseases

2010-07-06T14:52:00.001+01:00

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just take a day off from looking after your diabetes – or whatever other chronic disease you may have? The thing about chronic diseases is that there is no end in sight – no day you can mark down in your calendar when you can look forward to spending time without it and doing as you please without fear of repercussions. Wouldn’t if be great if, like our dogs and our cats, we could just pay someone to take care of them for a little while? I’m sure we’d all come back for them, wouldn’t we? Better not answer that!

I’m looking forward to a time when, like smallpox in the ‘70s, we can ‘retire’ our diseases. The last few examples can live out their old age in laboratory test tubes and the like, muttering away to themselves about the good old days when they could shoot someone up to double figures just for eating a slice of toast and butter!

Go away! Take a break! Go on holiday!
I’m sure you’d like time on your own!
And I wouldn’t mind if you left for a while –
So go on! Just leave me alone!

For it seems you’ve become too dependent,
And it’s putting me in a bad mood!
I’d just like a day with you out of the way,
I hope you don't think that I'm rude!

There ought to be somewhere to send you,
Like the kennels where you might send a pet…
Yes, a kennel for chronic diseases!
But I don’t think there are any yet…

I’m sure if there were they’d make money,
For I know many others would pay
To leave you in the care of another,
Though we might not return straight away…!

I imagine, in the future it will happen
When diseases will all be retired,
They’ll live out their days sat on petri dish trays
Till the very last one has expired!

Brighton Forum Meet, July 3rd 2010

2010-07-04T11:58:00.002+01:00

I had a really great day out yesterday meeting people from the forum, Circle D and elsewhere on a fantastic day out in Brighton. The weather was perfect, not too hot and with a pleasant sea breeze that escalated into a minor hurricane just inside the door of the Varsity pub! I think most of us got a touch (or more) of sunburn, despite lashings of suncream! Great people, some who I had met before (and were still willing to talk to me!) and some new faces too, which was nice too. I was sorry I had to leave at 7, as clearly from Shelley's pictures the party went on until lights out! The day was so good, I think we may have to make this an annual outing (good idea Shiv!).

As they say, pictures speak louder than words, so here is a selection of mine and Shelley's pictures:

Brighton!

2010-07-03T23:10:00.004+01:00

Spent a wonderful day in sunny Brighton with many lovely fellow diabetics! Levels predictably high - why do I only go into double figures in the company of fellow feeders of the insulin? Pictures to follow tomorrow! And no, we didn't destroy the pier - it was like that when we got there!

Supermarkets of the Future…

2010-07-02T15:48:00.001+01:00

It would appear, after a short period of very unscientific study (anecdotal evidence from several members of the forum) that supermarkets are the most likely places for diabetics to experience problems of either high, or more probably, low blood sugars. Several members cited the supermarket as the scene of their worst hypo. Clearly there is a marketing opportunity presenting itself here for the enlightened supermarkets of the future – special Diabetics Days, when the whole store is geared up to receiving and catering for the pancreatically-challenged members of society. Given the exponential increase in the number of diabetics diagnosed every minute (or so we are told!), this could be a huge source of revenue for those chains willing to go the extra mile to win the loyalty of this specialised group of shoppers.

Imagine, therefore, specially trained staff on hand at every aisle, jelly baby bins at five metre intervals, free testing equipment using loyalty point strips, cushioned surfaces in case of sudden collapse, and a huge array of diabetic chocolate, jams and cakes to tempt the cash from a diabetic’s deep pockets…

Right, is everyone ready? Five minutes to go!
Maureen- what happens if someone goes low?
Er, they start talking nonsense and staring ahead?
That’s right, but not always, so don’t be misled!
And Phoebe, have you filled up the jelly baby bins?
Yes Mr Worsnip, they’re filled to the brim!

OK, now it’s time that we open the shop –
Kevin, are the mats out should any of them drop?
Does that really happen sir? They just fall on the floor?
I’m afraid so, quite often…now let’s open the door…
Remember, it’s hot so they’ll be dropping like flies –
If you spot one, and catch them, you’ll be up for a prize!

Ah! Ladies and Gents, will you please step this way?
Let me welcome you to shop on our Diabetics Day!
Over there you’ll find trollies that have meters built-in,
Ask a member of staff if you need insulin.
We’ve all kinds in stock, and it won’t cost a thing,
Just one word of caution – the Lantus might sting!

Mr Worsnip! Mr Worsnip! One’s just gone down!
She was reaching for sauce – I think it was brown!
OK – John, go to condiments, let’s just hope they’re fine,
That’s the third one so far by a quarter past nine!
Oh dear, I can see, if things go on this way,
Our Diabetics Special will be a very long day!

Later:
Well done everybody! That’s the last of them gone!
The prize for most ‘catches’ has gone to young John!
I’m happy to say that they all left alive,
And the three in the hospital, it is thought they’ll survive!
We’ve sold out of oily fish, porridge and ham,
But we didn’t shift a jar of diabetic jam!

Diabetes – Stealer of Sleep!

2010-07-01T16:36:00.000+01:00

Sometimes, being diabetic is not conducive to getting a good night’s sleep. Apart from the Sword of Damocles that hangs over your head with every morsel you eat and every mile you run – how will that affect my levels? – I’ve noticed a couple of things that diabetes has brought to the nightly ritual. The first is not exclusive to diabetes, of course – the need to get up during the night to go to the bathroom. But diabetes can make that more likely, since higher than normal blood sugar levels cause the body to try and flush out the excess via the bladder. There is therefore a quandary, especially if you are treated with insulin, and at greater risk of suffering low blood sugar levels whilst you sleep – do you eat sufficient carbohydrate before bed to keep your levels high? If you do, then of course your kidneys will kick in to try and expel that extra sugar, wakening you when the pressure becomes too uncomfortable to bear!

There is another reason you might find sleep difficult, however, and this is something I have only experienced as a diabetic. Sometimes, as I fall asleep, I get a similar sensation to the early stages of a hypo. What to do? I find that I can’t ignore it, so I have to get my meter and test, which involves switching on the light and, of course, waking me up again! This doesn’t happen every night, thankfully, but when it does happen it is extremely annoying! Usually, my levels are fine and I was just falling asleep! I find it happens mostly when I have recently experienced a night time low, so the sensation and fear is fresh in my mind. A couple of nights ago, I experienced it and actually was low. Once I had treated the low, however, I was unable to get back to sleep for fear of it happening again. So, come on Mr Sandman! What did Diabetes promise you, eh? Eh????

Diabetes can deprive you of sleep,
An alarming, but little known fact.
It’s as if the disease and the Sandman
Have colluded in some unholy pact!

For, imagine a poor diabetic,
Perpetually aware of his plight,
Nervous and frightened to lay down his head
In case he goes low in the night!

He’ll take careful note of his levels
And, should they not be high enough,
Before he lies down then he might go to town
On bread, jam and chocolate and stuff!

Now, convinced that he won’t have a hypo,
He may think he’s cracked it at first,
But then find that he wakes in an hour
With a bladder that seems fit to burst!

But what if his levels looked perfect,
And he feels himself drift off to sleep?
Could that really mean he’s having a hypo,
And not due to counting those sheep?

So what did it promise you Sandman?
What devious, perfidious lies?
For what ever it was, it must have been good
To prevent you from gritting our eyes!

All you need is cash (and gullibility!)

2010-06-29T13:29:00.001+01:00

Money can’t buy you everything, but there are always charlatans around ready and willing to persuade you otherwise. Unfortunately, there is not as yet a cure for diabetes – progress is being made on a number of fronts, but a method of expunging the disease is still some years away. It is, of course, possible for many people to manage the disease successfully using a combination of the right diet and keeping active, but should they waver then the effects of the disease will return. Others may not have this option, as their insulin production may be inadequate or non-existent.

People live in hope though, and many are convinced enough by elaborate claims to part with their hard earned cash, thinking that they have discovered something that the whole of conventional medicine has either failed, or refused to recognise. Pseudo-science and unreliable, manipulated or even fictional evidence may be used to back up the claims. I don’t think the claims in my poem are any more ludicrous than the idea that energised water or lettuce can cure it…!

I met a man who, thrice a week
Ate seven pickled eggs…
Another man I came across
Smeared treacle on his legs!
And yet another squeezed the leaves
Of Himalayan plants,
Then quite obscurely poured the juice
Into his underpants!

When asked what led them to perform
These strange and worrying acts,
They paused, and with a knowing wink
Apprised me of the facts:

It’s well known on the world wide web
That, for a pound or two,
Enlightened gurus will divulge
A means to cure you!
But, as we are all different,
With wealth and needs diverse,
A tailored cure must be devised
That suits your tastes (and purse!)

‘For me, eggs steeped in vinegar –
As long as it is pure –
Will neutralise sugar in my blood,
And thus provide the cure!’

‘An egg cure wasn’t right for me,
But treacle smeared just so
Will draw the glucose from my blood,
And keep my levels low!’

‘And you?’ I asked the man in pants,
‘Your cure’s the strangest yet!’
‘Indeed! My pants, the guru claimed,
Must be forever wet!
But not just any liquid goo
Would fix my pancreas,
But only that extruded from
Expensive mountain grass!’

And with these words I took my leave
And slowly backed away,
For I was sure there is no cure
However much you pay!

Ghastly Green Jelly Babies

2010-06-28T15:33:00.000+01:00

My favourite treatment for when my blood sugar levels drop low is two or three jelly babies – they’re tasty, quick to act and a welcome compensation for the hypo sweats and shakes. However, there comes a time in the life of every box of Jelly Babies when you realise that, with racing heart and blurring sight, you’ve eaten every colour except the green ones! From that point on it is a battle between your rational mind knowing that they still contain the same amount of precious sugar as all the other colours, and will do just as good a job, and that nagging voice in your subconscious telling you that they are evil transdimensional denizens of some dark nether-universe, here to wreak anguish and madness on all who bring them to their lips…

It cannot be so far away,
When dawns that dreadful, fateful day
As, reaching to treat my hypo shocks,
I find just green ones in the box!

Oh, tell me Mr Basset please
Why waste your time producing these?
Tart on tongue, and jealous hue,
An aberration! Shame on you!

For lusty red, beguiling black
I could consume those by the sack!
Bright orange, sunny yellow too –
I’d even accept a baleful blue!

But green brings foaming at the mouth,
One eye looks North, the other South,
Gripped by a kind of emerald rabies,
The Dark Lord of the Jelly Babies!

Where do you lie on the Curve?

2010-06-22T13:15:00.003+01:00

People have different reactions to diabetes, and management of blood glucose levels can span a broad spectrum. Some people may test levels compulsively, a dozen or more times a day and worry over every tiny detail so that they are constantly battling for perfection which is very hard, if not impossible, to achieve. At the other end of the spectrum, there are those who will rebel against diabetes, or deny its existence, never testing and taking a wild guess at their blood sugar levels before injecting an equally unscientifically calculated amount of insulin. Some may not even bother with the insulin.

I tend to lie on the ‘cautious’ side of the curve. I’m still very much aware of all the horror stories about diabetes and what devastating effects it can have. I admit to feeling slight disappointment this morning when my level read 6.7 mmol/l (120 mg/dl). Even though this is within my target range, it was about 1 mmol/l (18 mg/dl) above what it might normally be. I spent a moment fretting over whether my basal insulin might need changing a smidgen. The moment passed though! It’s something that you can become too obsessive over, to a point where it can dominate your life, and when that happens for any protracted period of time, then that’s not really living.

Those who choose to ignore their diabetes management, however, are the ones putting themselves at risk – the very real risk of complications like nerve or kidney damage, blindness or amputation. Not knowing what your levels are for days, weeks months on end means you will either be keeling over from a hypo or, more likely, your levels will be so high as to be causing damage hour by hour, possibly giving you short term problems like DKA, and undermining greatly your quality of life.

Find the middle way, the point of the curve that shows you care enough to pay attention and spend those few minutes each day to do the best you can. But don’t let those minutes turn to hours and take over your life.

Where do you lie on the Curve
Of caring and couldn’t care less?
For some, tight control’s an obsession,
For others their levels are a mess!

Some are driven by fears of the future,
And each reading that’s just out of range
Brings panic and deep disappointment,
And confusion about what needs to change.

Yet others will choose to ignore it,
Burying heads deep in the sand,
No testing, and guessing at insulin,
Activities and meals all unplanned.

So you mad, and you bad, diabetics,
Strike a balance as you live out each day,
Be respectful of your diabetes,
But don’t let it stand in your way!

Hyper Slugs

2010-06-15T15:44:00.001+01:00

It’s a little known fact that diabetics need to keep their distance from slugs. I read recently on the forum about a poor lady who chanced upon a slug that had crawled onto her cooker during the night and so distressed her that her blood sugar levels shot up and stayed high for several hours afterwards. I can only speculate that there is some form of chemical message that is given off by the noxious slime they leave in their wake, stimulating stress hormones in humans, and raising blood sugar levels.

Caution should therefore be observed when these creatures are in the vicinity, and the age-old defences of salt and beer should be administered immediately on sight, before any harm is done…

It may befall you, late at night, to wander through the house,
But be beware of things that lurk, like spider, slug or mouse!
What’s that you say? A mouse is known to scurry through the gloom,
And spiders too may weave their webs in corners of the room…
But slugs? You speak in jest my friend! What fears do they inspire?
They’ll hardly leap from out the murk, or breathe on you with fire!

But slugs have powers little known – the slime that they exude
Can raise the sugars in the blood, playing havoc with your mood!
Emitting powerful pheromones, they signal to your brain
To flood your blood with cortisol, until the slug is slain!
So arm yourself with salt and beer, to keep the beasts at bay!
And slay the ghastly gastropods – despatch them on their way!

Basal and Bolus, the bane of my life?

2010-06-14T16:20:00.001+01:00

From Diabetes UK

I’m on an insulin regime known as ‘basal/bolus', also known as MDI (Multiple Daily Injections). Basal insulin is slow-acting, and one injection lasts around 24 hours, in theory at least. Bolus insulin is given to match the carbohydrates in a meal or snack, or to correct a higher-than-I-feel-comfortable-with level, usually double figures for me, although I have only made three such corrections in two years.

Sounds pretty straightforward, yes? Well, for me, I’m lucky that most of the time everything seems to be fine. Just lately though, chiefly due to my enforced withdrawal from the running fraternity due to my injured knee, things have been going a bit all over the place. My levels generally crept up, so I had to try and estimate how much additional insulin I needed for each 10 grams of carbohydrate (known as a ‘ratio’), and also if I needed to increase my basal insulin to keep me steady and in range when I wasn’t eating.

After a few weeks of doing this and getting mixed success, I’m now back exercising, which means I’m now having to reverse the trend and start decreasing my insulins – more mixed success! Currently, it appears that I’m taking too much insulin, as my levels have dropped low several times over the past few days. Basal insulin is harder to deal with, as its effects can take a couple of days to manifest so you need to try and see into the future! Life would be much easier on an insulin pump, since adjustments can be made in tiny amounts and at very short notice, but my chances of getting a pump are virtually zero due to my overall good control and the expense of a pump.

Still, it could be far worse! I have pretty good control compared to a lot of people, and whilst not perfect, the adjustments I make seem to be fairly close to the mark. It’s just hard having to think ahead and pull numbers out of the air day after day! Hopefully, once I am back in regular exercise, everything will settle back down again.

Basal and Bolus, the bane of my life!
One day they’ll work fine, the next they’ll cause strife!
For it’s not just a case of injecting four shots,
But having to think of the ‘do’s’ and ‘do nots’.

I do need more basal if I should awake
On a level too high for my night fast to break,
But if I should wake with my levels too low,
That’s a sign that some of my basal should go.

But how to predict it? And how to react?
There’s no way of knowing each pertinent fact!
For our bodies are so complex, and our methods so crude,
It’s hard to outguess both our liver and food.

Bolus, you’d think, would be easier to know,
For we just need to use the correct ratio…
But if we don’t weigh every grain, every gram,
Then in truth, it’s an estimate, maybe not worth a damn.

And basal? That’s bothersome in a different way.
You can only adjust every two or three days…
And between now and then, what will happen? Who knows?
I can only adjust and then see how it goes!

I may whinge, I may moan, how my life’s so unfair,
And envy those others who don’t have such cares.
But the bottom line’s this, it has to be said –
I’d rather have this than be lying there dead!

The Weigh In

2010-06-13T15:31:00.002+01:00

We happened to be talking on the forum about the nurse who had spent an entire consultation relating her own troubles and woes (see Nurse Ne’er Do Well), and another member related the story of how she met a similarly insensitive and rude nurse at her diabetic check up. Apparently, the nurse was an agency nurse who normally worked at a Harley Street weight-loss clinic which promoted an extreme diet of yoghurt and soup for two weeks. Without a thought for the lady’s feelings, or even her need for such a diet, she continued on…here’s what happened:

Off for my check up, weight, BP and wiz,
It’s an agency nurse who’s conducting the biz,
So as you might do, in a jocular way,
‘I hope I haven’t gained any!’, I happened to say.

She raised her right eyebrow, in Roger Moore style,
And pursing her lips, looked down at my file.
‘Just take off your boots please, and stand on the scales,
Haven’t seen so much blubber since I went watching whales!

I found that offensive, and was about to say so,
When she spouted forth wisdom she thought I should know.
She put down her pen as she warmed to her cause,
And gave me no chance as she said without pause:

‘You don’t have to be big and hefty my dear!
I know that for women your size that’s a fear,
There’s an easy solution you really must try –
Either that, or grow fat, so fat you might die!’

‘Two cans of soup, the Weight Watchers kind,
Plus six natural yoghurts, and I think you will find
That after two weeks you’ll have lost thirty pounds,
And be able to walk without shaking the ground!’

At this I was speechless, for what did I see?
But a twenty stone nurse who was talking to me!
‘You should take your own medicine, for I strongly advise
That you give up the booze and stop eating the pies!’

More Byetta Limericks

2010-06-12T14:49:00.001+01:00

There was a young man from Valetta
Who liked to eat Wall's Viennetta,
But it spiked up his blood
So he thought that he should
Take a regular dose of Byetta!

***
A woman who once got a letter
Saying she should start taking Byetta,
Said it caught in her gizzard
At the thought of the lizard,
And she hoped that the doc would forget her!

***
A woman who wouldn't be denied
Demanded some exenatide,
Her levels improved
So her doctor was moved
To approve any others who applied!

***

Lizard spit

2010-06-11T19:48:00.001+01:00

There's a treatment for Type 2 diabetes called exenatide, marketed under the name of Byetta. This drug has a remarkable history, as it is actually a synthetic form of a hormone found in the saliva of the Gila Monster lizard - hence the affectionate moniker 'lizard spit'! It works a bit like glucagon, which is a hormone that helps regulate insulin in non-diabetics, hence its use as a diabetes treatment. It also appears to have the additional benefit of helping people to lose weight, rather than gain it (which can be a consequence of insulin treatment). All very interesting and useful, but I just like the idea that people around the world are injecting lizard spit to help combat diabetes!

A woman whose doctor once let her
Start taking a course of Byetta,
Began to lose weight,
Saw her levels abate,
And soon felt considerably better!

***
A woman whose dress didn't fit
Was advised to inject lizard spit.
'I'll have some of that please,
For I have diabetes,
And my last pair of knickers just split!'

Nurse Ne'er Do Well

2010-06-10T21:38:00.000+01:00

Some nurses are excellent. They listen to your troubles with a caring ear, and dispense useful, practical advice in words you will understand, yet without being patronising or condescending. However, a lady on the forum recently spoke of her encounter with a nurse who spent an hour relating all her own personal problems until eventually the lady walked out! I imagine the scene went something like this…

Ah! Come in my dear and please sit over there.
No, not in the comfy one – the grey plastic chair!
I have to sit here, it’s been quite a while
Since my bottom’s been sore on account of my piles…

Now, you’re diabetic, I think it says here.
My eyesight is awful, it’s not very clear…
Uh! You’ll have to speak up dear, what did you say?
I’ve been deaf as a post for a year and a day!

Since you’re diabetic, perhaps you will know?
I wake in the night and I just HAVE to go!
It may be my bladder, perhaps it’s my age,
Would you do my job on this miserable wage?

My throat feels quite dry, I might have some tea,
You probably wouldn’t cope if you had troubles like me!
Some patients are awful, they just ramble on,
Now let me just see where your…oh! She’s gone!

Blooming roses!

2010-06-10T16:22:00.000+01:00

The roses are blooming beautifully at the moment. There must be some combination of the late Spring following an exceptionally cold, poor Winter that has resulted in such prolific and beautiful blooms. And they smell gorgeous!

Casually Consuming Crisps

2010-06-08T15:50:00.000+01:00

Before diabetes I was a lover of crisps (aka potato chips to my American friends!). In the UK they have always been a popular treat, generating a huge range of, sometimes bizarre, flavours over the years. Famous examples have been hedgehog flavour, squirrel flavour, baked bean flavour – the list goes on. My personal favourites used to be salt and vinegar and smoky bacon. The best crisps ever made are Seabrook crinkle cut, made in the Yorkshire town of Bradford.

The thing is, since my diagnosis I have weaned myself off them. Not sure how it happened, but I think that, in the early days at least, I was so scared of my blood sugar levels going up above ‘normal’ that I would only eat them at mealtimes, when I was injecting insulin. In time, I came to prefer other food at mealtimes, and the crisps became an ‘extra’ that I didn’t want to inject extra for. I know that, as an insulin-treated diabetic I can, in theory ‘bolus for a biscuit’ – or, in this cae, a bag of crisps – but I’ve never got into that habit. The only time I inject for food is at proper mealtimes, or very rarely if I need a correction dose because I miscalculated the dose for my meal (only happened three times in two years!).

So, crisps are now a bit of a luxury. I can’t just casually munch away on a bag on a whim, I have to consider either injecting, or letting my levels go high. I also consider the salt and fat content of them these days, as these may affect my blood pressure and cholesterol levels. I find it’s a bit like in the first couple of years after I stopped smoking. I would see someone just light up, and feel all sorts of emotions – that I was being denied something I once enjoyed, that it wasn’t fair for them to be able to get away with it and I no longer could! Of course, those feelings faded with time and now I appreciate that they probably are doing harm to themselves, at least to their wallets. Yet I was surprised that similar emotions were awoken when I passed someone cramming crisps into their face on the street…

As I was out walking, I happened to meet
Someone casually eating some crisps in the street.
Now, that’s not remarkable, I hear you all say,
For it’s something we witness almost every day!
Well, that may be true, but I think you may find
Diabetes brings thoughts of a quite different kind.
The thoughts may be angry: how dare she do that!
Just stuffing her face at the drop of a hat!
The thoughts may be jealous: I wish it was me,
Enjoying those crisps so entirely carefree!
Or, maybe some sadness: I remember the time
When I would eat crisps, oh the taste was sublime!
Now that one simple act that the girl took for granted,
For me, is a sin that must now be recanted.
The carbs in the crisps would send my blood sugar high –
It’s hard to resist, but I really must try!
But once in a while, I may admit defeat,
And casually consume some crisps in the street!

Sir Alan of the Northern Territory

2010-06-07T11:54:00.001+01:00

On the diabetes forum where I am an Administrator, I was recently dubbed 'Sir Alan of the Northern Territory' by member Rossi Mac, and was touched by this poetic tribute to me from the lovely HelenP - thanks Helen!

STUPID DIABETES we all shout -
Some of us thin, some of us stout.
The Big D doesn't discriminate;
It can hit you early, it can hit you late.

It doesn't matter who you are,
Shop assistant, or superstar.
You might be useful on the pitch,
Or quoting Shakespeare's made you rich.

Whatever we do for our daily jobs,
We all have pancreatic probs.
As much as we'd all like to ignore 'em,
They are what's brought us to this forum.

And here we've met the nicest man
Who'll always help you if he can.
So, how shall he be known henceforth?
Arise! Sir Alan of the North.

Going Solo

2010-06-04T16:38:00.002+01:00

There have been a lot of interesting 2nd anniversaries for me this week. On this date two years ago I was embarking on my first ever day managing my own diabetes, doing my blood checks and administering my own injections. I had been discharged on 3rd June, in the late afternoon, with instruction but no practice (on any kind of fruit) on how to use my two insulin pens. And so, on the evening of June 3rd, at exactly 19:22, I gave myself my first ever injection of novorapid - 16 units, before my evening meal. My pre-meal blood glucose was 10.0 mmol/l, a little on the high side I realise now, but back then it hadn't really sunk in what was 'good' and what was 'bad'. I had, after all, been 37 mmol/l at diagnosis and remembered several readings in the high 20s, so 10 didn't look that scary. Also less scary was the lancet I used for the BG reading - far less painful than the multi-purpose, discardable ones the nurses had used, but a little shock nonetheless.

How do I remember all this? Well, I don't need to because I recorded everything in my BG diary, something I have maintained to the current day. As a fan of history, it's interesting to look back through these diaries, to see how my levels became better tuned over time, and also to see how my insulin requirements changed over time. I started out on a regime of 16, 14, 16 novorapid before meals, and 20 lantus at night. The breakfast one and the lantus have changed most - yesterday I had 8 novorapid before breakfast and 10 lantus at bedtime. I'm glad that I received early instruction in how to adjust my insulin, as it has made life a whole lot easier. I can't imagine how people manage on mixed insulins or fixed doses. My early days on fixed doses are shown in the diary to have resulted in many more highs and lows than I experience now.

Diabetes is a difficult disease to manage. There are so many variables involved, chiefly due to the fact that blood glucose affects every single part of the body, including the brain. On the outside, people with diabetes often look very healthy, but it's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it just how all-encompassing and overwhelming it can be at times - the panic of a low, or the disappointment, fear and confusion that can result from an unexpected high. I've done pretty well over the past couple of years, so I'm grateful for that, and part of knowing how you are doing is keeping those records - not only so you can spot trends or remember how things were, but also so you don't become complacent!

June already!

2010-06-01T19:15:00.001+01:00

And little sign of the Sun! Very gloomy today, whatever happened to 1976 and spontaneous brushland fires from the unbearable heat? My levels have been creeping up - I think they were expecting it to get warmer, but it hasn't, so now I'm left with higher insulin requirements. Cheers, diabetes god, just when I thought I had it sorted! I have to go for some blood tests this week, first time in 6 months, and expect that my HbA1c will have risen from the previous 5.6%. As long as it isn't above 6.5% I'll be happy. I've had far fewer hypos lately, and my fasting levels have, on the whole, been a couple of mmol/l higher than they have been in the past - so 6+ rather than 4+.

Weather is supposed to be brightening tomorrow, so I may have to go and mow the lawn which will be good for my levels. The old reliables are blooming - aquilegia and pyrocanthus - and my roses are about to burst into life. The rhododendron is doing much better than last year, with some big flowers about to bloom, and the day lilies look like they are about ready to put in an appearance. But where is the Sun?

Pyrocanthus

The Prayer of the Frightened Orange

2010-05-29T14:55:00.000+01:00

I’ve recently been reading anecdotes about how people were taught to do their insulin injections, and it appears that a popular method in former years was to get the patient, or patient’s carer, to practice by injecting into an orange. Thankfully, it appears that this barbaric practise has all but disappeared from civilised society, and oranges assigned to hospitals no longer need fear this painful, protracted and humiliating fate at the hands of diabetic neophytes.

Recently, during a clear out of old fruit bowl cupboards at a disused hospital, a remarkable document has come to light, which gives a fascinating insight into the lonely life of a terrified orange destined for the diabetic ward. Most oranges would hope to live out their ripening days adorning colourful baskets alongside fruits of all varieties and nations, valued and admired by staff and patients alike. For those unfortunates selected for injection training however, the outlook was grim, and a dusty, juice-stained piece of old peel found in a dark corner was found to contain this poignant supplication to a higher power…

Oh Orange Father, hear my prayer,
And save me from my fate,
Deliver me from this frightening place,
Before it is too late!

For I have heard an awful word,
The humans call ‘inject’,
And terror grips my shaking pips,
If they should me select!

Oh Orange Spirit, show you care!
Don’t let them pierce me so!
For such a death I cannot bear,
(I’m sensitive, you know!)

They’re coming, Spirit, for me now,
So this must be goodbye,
Perhaps I’ll join you very soon,
In the Juicer in the Sky!

D-Day, that’s D for Diagnosis!

2010-05-26T16:54:00.000+01:00

Today marks the second anniversary of my diabetes diagnosis. Hard to believe that it has already been two years! I can still remember that first day and night in the hospital, first in the Resus room, then after about three hours I was moved to intensive care. In the middle of the night I was then moved to a side room in a general ward, and early the following day onto the ward itself – four beds in 24 hours! I felt absolutely dreadful when I arrived. My blood sugar was 37 mmol/l and my HbA1c was 11.8. On admission I weighed 116 pounds. Now, two years on I weigh a planet-shaking (for me!) 170 pounds!

I left the hospital on 11 different drugs, plus insulin – now I am on only two drugs. I tend to forget that my insulin is also part of my medication whenever I am asked as it seems so fundamental to my condition The other meds are things I could probably do without and still get by, but I know I wouldn’t last long without my insulin.

I did some checking on my blood glucose meter software to find out how things have gone over the past year. On the whole, I think I have been very lucky and have managed to keep fairly tight control of my levels. Out of a total of 2,119 fingerprick tests (my poor fingers!), I have had 482 above range – about 21%. A lot of those would have been tests taken after meals and before exercise, when I would expect to be above range, as many non-diabetics might also be. The margins haven’t been that great, with just the very rare excursion into double figures. My highest reading during the year was 16.2 mmol/l.

As for the lows, I’ve had surprisingly few. OK, 106 might sound like a lot of occasions for your blood sugar to drop so low that you suddenly transform into a sweating, shaking, panicking idiot, but I probably used to do that on occasion before diabetes! In fact, it only accounts for 5% of all my tests in the year. Looking a bit closer, I can see that I have only had two hypos in the past thirty days, so I think that my control is steadily improving. Overall, the average BG level over those 2,000+ tests is 5.93 mmol/l. I’ve been sticking lancets in my fingers on average 5.8 times a day – which again has actually dropped to below 5 times a day over the past month. I think I have been testing less mainly because I have injured my knee and not been able to go out running.

Got myself a nice big cake to celebrate, and a bucket of insulin on standby! This bad boy has got a total of 200 grams of carbohydrate and 90 grams of fat! Slurp!!!!

Your thigh bone's connected to your...

2010-05-19T16:21:00.001+01:00

...lateral collateral ligament! Unfortunately for me, that ligament is currently very sore and sprained, and it looks like being that way for the next two to five weeks. No running, and it's already been three weeks since I injured it - so frustrating! Apparently my best option for rehabilitation is a wobble board, and as it happens I already own one from the time when I broke that very same thigh bone in the title of this post. It appears that all my injuries occur on the right side of my body, as I broke my right humerus several years ago, and have also broken metacarpals in my right hand. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I'm left-handed, and I instinctively protect that side of my body.

So, it's several weeks of not walking very far and several hours a week wobbling! I'm also trying out some exercises for the upper body, taken from the aptly-titled '15 minute workouts for dummies'. Fifteen minutes is about the most I can endure, not because of a lack of fitness, but because excruciating boredom overwhelms me beyond that timeframe when doing most things except running through the parks and countryside! The exercises are demonstrated by the wonderfully named Gay Gasper, although she isn't and I am by the end of the workout! Pretty straightforward stuff, but demanding nevertheless, and conducted at a very brisk pace in order to get everything in in the promised quarter hour - including warm up and post exercise stretches! I'll tell you tomorrow how effective they are, if I can unbend my body! I'm hoping that the exercise will help to keep my blood sugars in check and my insulin sensitivity nice and high, as I have a tendency to lose a bit of control during enforced periods of inactivity. Maybe this is fate's way of telling my that my gut is getting far too flabby!

Chirality – it’s a Left-Handed Universe!

2010-05-14T14:13:00.001+01:00

Meeting Apollo Astronaut Charles Duke - fellow left-hander!

I’m left-handed, so is my sister. Because of this, and also because left-handed people are generally in the minority, I’ve always tended to notice when someone else is left-handed. In a world largely designed for the benefit of right-handers, some things can be more difficult for me – scissors, can openers, writing without smudging, musical instruments – the list is long. As a consequence, left-handers are generally more skilled at using their non-dominant hand than their right-handed counterparts. I once met Apollo astronaut Charles Duke, and remarked on the fact he was left-handed and didn’t this make it more difficult to handle controls on the spacecraft? Apparently, not so, as the craft were designed not with the human occupants in mind but rather where everything would fit in the limited space of the environment.

Where is this leading? Well, today I came across the term ‘Chirality’, which comes from the Greek kheir which means ‘hand’. The easiest way to understand the concept is to hold your left hand up to a mirror. The image you will see will be that of a right hand – a mirror image of your left hand. This phenomenon occurs throughout nature, with some fascinating consequences. For example, when I was born in 1958 there was a popular sedative drug available for pregnant mothers. The drug was called thalidomide, and is now notorious for the dreadful birth defects suffered by many of the babies of that period. The problem with thalidomide was that it was chiral – it had both left- and right-handed properties, and was made up af a 50/50 mix. The left-handed molecule provided the sedative property, whilst the right-handed molecule (it was discovered) led to the abnormalities in foetus development. Fortunately for me, my mother declined the drug, although I did have childhood friends with missing fingers and worse because of it.

Aspartame, beloved of diabetics for its sweetening properties, has a right-handed molecule which tastes bitter! And, most interesting of all, all human proteins are built from left-handed amino acids. So, it seems that whatever hand you use to sign your name, we are all left-handed!

Cameron enters Number 10...

2010-05-12T11:36:00.000+01:00

...and a dark new era descends over the UK...rats scurry from the eager forks of the oppressed masses, as wine-soaked Henrys titter and chortle and choke on their quail and truffle-foam fox fillets, whilst the country descends into rank and rancid ruin....

Just my opinion, of course

Call this May? It's more like March! Brrr!!!!!

2010-05-11T15:49:00.001+01:00

Well, after a very brief period of hopefulness in mid-April, it seems that the weather is now just as cold as it has been for the past six months! Well, maybe not quite, but it still demands coats and long-sleeved shirts, heating in the house, and a snug corner in the pub by the fire! Apparently, there was snow in Scotland yesterday with more frosts expected. Will we ever see warmth again in this country? Well, there is a little warmth emanating from the brave plants that have decided to bloom despite instincts to the contrary, no doubt. Some of my favourites of early Spring in my garden are the azaleas, and also the glorious clematis that cloaks my house in masses of pink blooms, so I thought I would put pictures here for posterity. No poems recently - my muse has left me, it seems, along with the warm Spring sunshine!

Pink azalea

Red azalea

Clematis 'Montana'

Crocked!

2010-05-10T18:00:00.000+01:00

I'm having a really frustrating time at the moment. About 10 days ago I fell, banging and twisting my knee, and have been unable to run since then. I even had problems walking for a couple of days, having to go back to using my old crutches from when I broke my femur! My knee still feels rather unstable, and a walk to the shops is about the best I can manage. The interesting thing is how much this enforced lack of activity has affected my blood glucose control. Previously, my waking/fasting levels were in the range of around 4.5-5.5 mmol/l, but for four days running they have been 7.0 mmol/l, which is at the upper end of my 'normal' range. Last night I increased my basal insulin by two units (which equates to a 25% increase), and this appears to have been successful as I woke to 5.2 mmol/l this morning. This is the first time since I was diagnosed nearly two years ago that I have had to increase my insulin - prior to this I have always had to decrease it, so it just goes to show what a profound effect exercise can have, and something else that makes diabetes management such a moveable feast.

Circle D 2nd Anniversary and Forum London Meet

2010-04-28T07:52:00.002+01:00

Well, it finally happened on Saturday, April 24th - thirty members of Circle D and Diabetes Support Forum got together in London to celebrate Circle D's 2nd birthday! Weather was gloriously sunny, and actually warm - hot even! I met up with Tom, Tez and Shiv at Victoria and, once Tom had recovered from the hypo he was having (!) we set off, map in hand, to make our way over to Leicester Square. Thankfully, the route was fairly straightforward, or so we thought: up Buckingham Palace Road, onto The Mall, round Trafalgar Square and up Charing Cross Road. Well, it mostly went to plan, except that The Mall and in particular the area in front of Buckingham Palace was packed with crowds of tourists watching the changing of the guard. We decided to walk through St James Park, very pleasant and peaceful and a far better option to travelling underground on such a lovely day!

After a little unplanned detour we finally emerged onto Leicester Square where I managed to spot Yates down in the bottom corner, my brain still just about functioning as the jelly babies kicked in after my en route hypo. Shelley was waving like a woman possesed and difficult to miss! And so the day was set for the next six hours for me, and much, much longer for a few of the others who partied on into the night. Shelley was the perfect hostess, making sure that everyone was welcomed and introduced. There was a real mix, in part due to the fact that Circle D is a group for 18-30 year old diabetics and who therefore provided much of the 'youth', plus one or two old timers (erm, like me!). Becky had travelled furthest on the day, from York at some ungodly hour, and Steff had travelled furthest overall having come all the way from Geordieland.

It was great to renew acquaintances and to put faces to names of the people I hadn't met before. Everyone had a great time, except maybe the poor barman who served Becky a non-diet coke when she'd ordered a diet one - diastix were being used in abundance to test the presence of sugar in 'diet' drinks, a frequent problem for diabetics. Bar staff don't realise the possible impact of a full-sugar drink on a diabetic person's blood sugar levels which can become unexpectedly, and sometimes dangerously, high. I finally got back home at around 9:30 pm after a good coach journey and a fortuitous encounter with a Number 3 bus as I was just passing the bus stop! Well, pictures speak louder than words, especially when they move, so here is Becky's wonderful video of the day's shenanigans:

And a selection of photos - mostly by Shelley, but a few of mine too!

Number of the Beast

2010-04-23T12:19:00.000+01:00

I’ve been frequenting an American forum recently, and trying to get used to the different units of measurement they use over there. Here in the UK a blood glucose meter reading is measured in millimoles per litre (mmol/l), but in the US it is measured in milligrams per decalitre (mg/dl). These produce wildly different numbers – a healthy reading of 5.0 mmol/l equates to 90 mg/dl – and it can take a little time to get used to what is seen as acceptable. To convert from UK to US readings, you multiply the US reading by 18, so I was having a play and worked out my level at diagnosis, which was obviously very high. In fact, it was 37 mmol/l which equates to…666 mg/dl! The Number of the Beast!

This got me thinking of what a beast diabetes can be at times, some days dominating your every waking hour, and even disrupting your sleeping hours. Keeping those levels steady and in range can be a tough task at times, and it can get you down when you have to consider every meal, every day, continually testing your blood, injecting insulin, and trying to perform some enormously complex calculations solely by intuition and guesstimation.

It can be a problem if you let it take over. I can’t get rid of it, but I can decide not to fear it. After all, it’s just a lack of insulin in my case. It’s called a disease, but it’s a strange one. In theory, if I could get everything right I could just inject exactly the right amount of insulin at the right time so that it perfectly matches the glucose release of my food and my liver, and there would be no problem – the disease wouldn’t exist. Well, of course, that’s not really true. A fully functioning pancreas is far more subtle than the ham-fisted injection method, and who knows what problems that disparity of finesse might present in the future? But, it’s all I’ve got to work with at the moment, so there’s little point in worrying about it. I’ll be very happy if they find a cure sometime soon though!

I know you Beast, I know your name,
You hide amid the gloom
And darken days that once were bright,
And beckon me to your tomb.

Creeping, cruel and cursed Beast,
Insidious and sly,
You think you scare me, but you don’t –
And here’s the reason why…

I don’t have diabetes,
Just a lack of insulin,
And since I can inject that,
You must see you cannot win!

So I declare you dead and gone,
You never did exist!
No monster lies beneath my bed –
Dear Beast you won’t be missed!

You don’t hide in my cupboard,
Nor lurk behind the door,
And if I turn my back on you,
Then I’ll see you no more!

I’d like you, please, to stick your head
Inside a dead bear’s bum,
And let that be a taster of
The things you’ve got to come!

Beast? Pah!

Icelandic volcano? No – my blood pressure!

2010-04-21T14:49:00.000+01:00

A couple of weeks ago I went for a routine check up at the doctors and had my blood pressure taken. The doctor could hardly believe how high it was, and checked several times to make sure the equipment was working correctly! She told me to double the dose of my BP medication and book another appointment, which I attended yesterday. This time, it was still far too high, although an improvement on the previous visit, so I am to double my medication again (although this is still a relatively small dose).

Blood pressure, or rather the high or low varieties, are something unseen and largely unfelt. Low blood pressure can sometimes cause dizziness or fainting, but high blood pressure can often not show any symptoms at all. If high BP is allowed to continue for any length of time, however it can do major damage to the arteries, kidneys and eyes, os it’s something I have to tackle quickly. Hopefully, the new dose of medicine will make an appropriate contribution, but I am also staying well away from alcohol and being especially careful of things like salt content of food. I’m also back to running again, now that I have recovered from the bad cold that I suffered with last week, so hopefully this will bring more improvement. I have to report back in about a month’s time and am expecting to hear the words ‘130/80, that’s perfect!’

Blood pressure setting is on overload,
My arteries will burst, my head will explode!
My kidneys will leak, my eyesight will fail!
My systolic pressure is right off the scale!

I could pump enough blood to sustain a blue whale!
I must change the ending of this sorry tale,
My diastolic pressure is over the ton,
Like the cold hard metal of a loaded gun!

How could I have got to this stage of distress?
I must be a wreck, a physical mess!
But no, I don’t feel it, what hypertension?
No symptoms to speak of, or not worth a mention…

But I’m not too dismayed, though the figures are bad,
For to fret and to worry, why I’d drive myself mad!
So I’m working on ways to bring it right down,
And try to keep smiling, and never to frown.

Spring has sprung -finally!

2010-04-16T15:08:00.001+01:00

First true Spring day today! I'm basing this on the fact that this is the first day this year I have been able to hang my laundry out to dry in the Sun and gentle breezes - and everything was dry in less than an hour! At last the Spring flowers are blooming - yellow and pink are the predominant colours at this time of the year. If only I didn't have this wretched cold I would be feeling marvellous, grrr! The week started well, with runs on Monday and Tuesday, but then the sneezing started and scuppered my plans for getting back to fitness. Interestingly, despite all that I have ever read about being ill when you are diabetic, my blood sugar levels have been practically faultless, staying well within range throughout. I'm very grateful for that - I wonder what it is about my body that means it can cope with illness when others can't? The common result is that levels climb high, despite extra insulin, and ketones (and consequently the threat of ketoacidosis) appear. None of that for me, so far - touch wood! Anyway, here are some of the lovely plants in their Spring glory!

Kerria Japonica

Magnolia

Flowering currant

Camelia

Forsythia

Oh Weeping Nostrils!

2010-04-14T15:02:00.001+01:00

I have a cold. Typical, just when I was getting back into my running now that the better weather and brighter days have arrived. I shouldn’t really run when I’m ill as it puts extra strain on my system when it’s already trying to fight the infection. The last time I had a proper cold I didn’t have diabetes to go along with it. Now I’m having to keep a close eye on my blood sugar levels to make sure they don’t climb too high, and it’s quite possible that, if they do I’ll have to start peeing on sticks to see if I have any ketones (they’re the nasties that turn your blood into acid and put you in hospital). Oh, woe is me! Actually, I seem to have got off quite lightly since diagnosis, illness-wise, so I can’t really complain. I’m just hoping this cold goes soon so I can start clearing the backlog on my 1000 mile/1000 km challenge that I’ve got significantly behind on due to the awful winter. If only Kate Bush would pop round and take a few hours out of her busy schedule to minister to my needs…

Oh Nostrils, why do you weep so?
And Throat, why feel so sore?
And Eyes, who filled you full of sand?
And Head, could you hurt more?

It’s flu, I say! Despite my jab
That should save me from harm,
My sugar levels are creeping up,
I may have bought the farm!

Oh where is Kate, with her soft hands
To mop my fevered brow?
No doubt gone Wuthering on the Moor…
Oh what shall I do now?

OK, it’s man-flu, I confess,
It’s sympathy I seek,
Or else, I swear, it’s certain I’ll
Be dead within a week!

Ode to Oily Fish

2010-04-13T18:00:00.001+01:00

Oh oily fish! Dear oily fish!
By far and away my favourite dish!
Infuse me with your Omega 3,
Please oily fish, come dine with me!

Oh, take away my chicken bhuna!
Replace it with a slab of tuna!
And though I love the taste of gammon,
I'd much prefer some Scottish salmon!

Imagine eating with every course
Some pilchards in tomato sauce!
If every herring could be mine,
Then life on Earth would be divine!

So, fill me up with oily fish!
Believe me, it’s my dearest wish!
My heart’s desire, where have you been?
Embrace me now, oh plump sardine!