Stop messing with my head, accursed Diabetes Fairy!

Haven’t done a post about my running for a while, partly because it seems to have been very hit and miss this year. Had a poor month in February, great month in March, lazy again in April, and really starting to get back into it in May. Things have changed from my March regime though, principally the fact that, as the day begins much earlier I have been getting up at around 5:15, thus generally getting my run in before 8:00. As I now need to eat and inject before going for a run, and allow time for the food to digest and the insulin to start peaking, I usually step out around 90 minutes after eating. All well and good, but what I consequently have to deal with is that my regular lunchtime is now around 7 hours after my breakfast, a long time to go without food or further injections.

So, I have been trying a little experiment over the past few days. On the first occasion, a few days ago, I decided that I would eat some toast and inject a small amount of insulin to cover it, shortly after completing my run. The result? Hypos all the way through to lunchtime! On the next occasion I decided to see what would happen if I ate the toast but didn’t inject for it. Result? My level prior to eating was 6.8 mmol/l (122 mg/dl) and by lunchtime it was 5.7 mmol/l (103 mg/dl) – I didn’t need any insulin for that toast! I have just repeated the experiment today, after a much shorter run. I was 7.0 mmol/l (126 mg/dl) after the run, ate some toast, and then was 5.2 mmol/l (94 mg/dl) before lunch! So the scenario with me seems to be:

1) Eat nothing for breakfast, levels normally creep up to the 7s/8s by lunchtime.

2) Eat breakfast, no run, levels usually in 5s/6s by lunchtime

3) Eat breakfast, go for run but eat nothing after, levels in 7s/8s by lunchtime

4) Eat breakfast, go for run and have toast afterwards, levels in low 5s!

Nothing’s ever simple is it?

Disgusted nurse gets just desserts

More escapades in the life of the nurse who found the idea of people with diabetes injecting in restaurants abhorrent. Imagine if, one evening, she was in a restaurant that just happened to be filled with insulin-dependent diabetics…imagine her horror…!

The scene: Luigi’s restaurant in downtown Birkenhead,
Full of hungry diners all waiting to be fed,
And there, amongst their number, a very special guest,
The nurse who failed her 101 would face another test…

The customers chatted pleasantly, as wine was passed around,
Our nurse was unaware of how her evening would be crowned…
A secret nod, a knowing wink, would all ensure the plan
Co-ordinated smoothly by each woman and each man.

Spaghetti carbonara and lasagne were brought in,
And all at once was silence – you could have heard a pin!
The nurse’s ears pricked up to hear a host of tiny clicks
As a hundred insulin users prepared to take their fix…!

Airshot after airshot was squirted in the air,
Like tiny dancing fountains from each and every chair!
And then the men exposed the flesh that lay beneath their shirts,
The ladies smiled as they pulled down the waistband of their skirts!

The nurse just stared in horror as the needles all went in,
And pierced the fatty layers that lay beneath the skin!
Well, then she just exploded, it was more than she could stand!
And now she’s pushing daisies up in Nighty-night Nurse Land!

Nurse Unbalanced

Diabetes UK took the rather unwise (in my opinion) editorial decision to allow further space in their ‘Balance’ magazine for the nurse who had previously ranted against people with diabetes injecting in restaurants. In this latest letter she reached a new level of apoplexy, insulting, deriding and attacking those who had responded to her original tirade of vitriolic nonsense. I think the thing that hurt most people that I have spoken to was that DUK should choose to perpetuate her views in a publication whose intent should surely be to provide support and backing for people with diabetes. Moreover, the fact that the letter writer was a nurse (thankfully now retired), might have suggested a greater tolerance and more caring attitude.

This is what I expect in the next issue of Balance from ‘the Nurse’ who will no doubt by then be afforded her own regular column in which she can freely castigate those self-centred junkie diabetics…

You can’t be human if you think
Injecting where I eat and drink
Is something that you can’t avoid,
You’re junkies and you’re paranoid!

And don’t tell me to look away,
I’m nosy and I’ll have my say!
You might as well just slit your throat,
Or hang a sacrificial goat!

Would you display your toilet parts?
Or fill the room with noisy farts?
Or flick your bogies round the room?
You diabetics make me fume!

Of all these things that trouble me –
All anti-social you’ll agree,
But diabetics shooting up
Wins the ‘Nurse Disgusted’ Cup!

So thank you Balance for this page,
Where I can vent my frequent rage,
I’m sure your readers all agree
They’re all disgusting, just like me!

Nursing 101

Diabetes UK stirred up quite a controversy when they published a letter in their magazine ‘Balance’ from a nurse who said that the sight of diabetics injecting in public places was ‘disgusting’. It’s not the greatest thing in the world to have to inject insulin every time you want to eat, but it’s certainly not made any easier when we read of such intolerance and lack of understanding – particularly from a member of the ‘caring’ profession. Injecting is done discreetly, usually with tiny needles on pen devices, and should draw censure no more than an asthmatic using an inhaler, or a person blowing their nose into a handkerchief. To be sure, there are people who are scared of the sight of needles, but these aren’t huge hypodermics, they are barely discernible – particularly across a crowded restaurant. Here’s what I imagined about our ‘nurse’…

Nursing 101

‘You’ve been a nurse for some time now,
So, let’s put you to the test.
We’ll give you some scenarios,
And you say which one’s best.’

‘You’re in a busy restaurant
And see across the way
A person injecting insulin.
What do you think you’d say?’

‘Would you, (a) Think it’s disgusting,
And should be out of sight?
Or (b) Think ‘What’s the problem?
I think that that’s alright.’?’

‘My goodness! You are seething!
Your face and neck’s gone red!
I think you’d better lie down!
Can someone find a bed?!!’

‘And now you’re spitting feathers!
And you can hardly speak!
You’re going apoplectic!
You’re staring like a freak!’

‘What was that you just spluttered?
They should be in a cage?
Don’t think a nurse has ever shown
Such incandescent rage!’

‘Now, calm down dear, and listen.
I think this test is done,
And you have failed, without a doubt,
Your Nursing 101!’