It's behind you! An alternative to injections?

Is there a solution for those poor insulin-dependent diabetics who have needle phobia? A less embarrassing method of delivering insulin when in a club or restaurant than having to get out all that paraphernalia and drawing attention to yourself? Apparently so – a company called Oramed Pharmaceuticals have been working on a different method of delivering insulin, via rectal insertion of a suppository! Imagine how much more socially acceptable this would be than injecting in public – how could anyone possibly object to someone pushing something up their behind before eating? Oh, if only Messrs Banting and Best had put their energies into this method of delivery, then we wouldn’t all be marked out as druggies and junkies by a shocked and disgusted Joe Public!

Ah, welcome Mr Jones, to your annual review!
I hope that you’ve been keeping well?
There’s been an advancement – it’s something quite new,
You can’t wait to hear, I can tell!

I know that, for you, there’s a deep-seated fear
Of each insulin injection you face,
You might even say it’s a pain in the rear,
Well, here’s something I’m sure you’ll embrace!

‘What? Is it a pill I can swallow each night?
Oh, that would be perfect for me!
For, try as I might, needles give me a fright,
And hurt like the sting from a bee!’

Not a pill that you swallow, though you’re on the right lines,
Nor a patch or a gum that you chew…
Now I hope you don’t mind, please expose your behind,
And I’ll just ‘introduce’ it to you!

There now, that didn’t hurt! Did you feel any pain?
It’s quick and so easy to do!
Oh dear, it’s popped out! I’ll just try it again…
Now don’t squeal or fart till I’m through!

You’ll soon get the hang, when you’re out on the town,
Of inserting this handy suppository!
You just need to turn round, pull your trousers right down,
And discreetly fill your rectal depository!

Tickling Dogs

I think that today I should tickle a dog,
Yes, I think that is what I should do!
Or maybe a frog on a gnarly old log,
Perhaps I could tickle that too?

For I need a distraction to take me away,
An escape from my cares and my woes…
For when you live with it day after day,
Diabetes gets right up your nose!

Like having to think about what I can drink,
And several daily injections,
And to stay in the pink and not kick up a stink
About needing blood sugar corrections!

So, what do you say? Maybe just for a day
Diabetes could just let me be,
And leave me to play in an unfettered way,
And a dog might get tickled for free!

No flu for me!

I had my seasonal flu jab yesterday. The surgery had the task of injecting everyone off to a fine art. When I entered, there was a queue of about five or six people, but by the time the receptionist had checked my name on her list, it was my turn to go in! About fifteen seconds later, it was all done! I remember reading somewhere that GPs get a payment for each patient they inject, something like five or six pounds. Given that the whole procedure took about thirty seconds per person, that’s somewhere in the region of £600 an hour – not a bad rate of pay!

I felt absolutely nothing when injected, although my arm is aching slightly now. I’d much rather have the injection than the real thing. Being diabetic means that my blood sugar control would go haywire if I caught flu, with a quite serious risk of diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA). Since that was what landed me up in hospital at diagnosis, I know exactly what it’s like, and NEVER want to suffer that again!

So, I’ll be off again in a couple of weeks or so for the swine flu jab. Some scaremongering stories have been doing the rounds, but from the more respected sources I have read, the dangers are minimal, and not to be compared with the problems they encountered in the mid-1970s when some Americans died from sde effects from the vaccine being used at the time. There are risks with all sorts of things, and you just have to weigh up the evidence and make an informed decision. After a year of living with diabetes, I no longer take the word of medical staff as sacrosanct – they often can’t agree with each other so you quickly come to realise that you need to be pro-active with your health choices. This is why I stopped taking statins, although the jury is still out on whether I need to keep taking a daily aspirin. Nine drugs down, two to go!

Just roll up your sleeve now,
You won’t feel a thing,
That’s not totally truthful,
Sometimes it can sting!
But having this jab
Will be better for you
Than a serious dose
Of the seasonal flu!
So don’t be a baby,
Just give me your arm,
I’ll inject this dead virus
To keep you from harm…
In a couple of weeks time
We’ll see you again
For your swine flu vaccine -
We don’t know quite when –
Then that’s it for the winter,
We’ll see you next year,
That’s two bad diseases
You no longer need fear!

Injection Hokey Cokey

I’ve recently changed from using the top of my hips as my injection site to using my tummy. The area on my hips where I was injecting had started to become a little sore, although I did use alternate sides to allow some healing to take place between jabs. It’s very important to rotate your injection sites as injecting too often in one place can lead to the formation of fatty lumps, which may then cause the insulin to be absorbed at unpredictable rates – you may get virtually nothing being absorbed into the bloodstream, and then suddenly get a ‘surge’ which might then present a danger of hypoglycaemia.

You also need to bear in mind that different sites have different absorption rates, so this might be something you need to take into consideration when injecting. Particularly fast will be a limb that is in heavy use, such as the thigh of someone going for a run, so again this must be borne in mind when choosing where to inject. The needles are tiny and rarely hurt, but doing it over 1500 times a year will gradually take its toll, so keep rotating those sites!

You can stick it in your tummy,
You can stick it in your thigh,
But don’t always use the same old place,
And here’s the reason why:
Too often in a single site
Could cause some lumps to form,
Absorption then could be quite poor,
Erratically performed.

Different sites for different tasks,
Please also bear in mind,
Absorption rates will vary
From place to place you’ll find.
The tummy is the quickest,
A plump behind is slow,
And fastest is a limb in use
As runners ought to know.

It’s yet another element
We have to factor in
To calculate four times a day,
Our dose of insulin!

The Ignoramus

There are a lot of misconceptions about diabetes, many of them based on outdated ideas about the causes and appropriate treatments for the condition. Sometimes it’s just ignorance or lack of consideration that can be annoying or upsetting to hear. I’ve related in previous entries how some attitudes to injecting insulin are particularly hurtful, saying we are ‘junkies’ taking our ‘fix’. Others may believe that we are limited in what we can achieve because of our diabetes, but you only need to look at our most famous Olympian Sir Steve Redgrave – winner of five Olympic gold medals for rowing – to see that there are few limitations. Sir Steve developed diabetes prior to winning his fifth gold in Sydney, at the age of 35. Other myths – it is self-inflicted due to eating too much sugar, or being fat and lazy. About the only things we are excluded from are the armed services or piloting a plane, and this is not necessarily the same in all countries. Well controlled diabetes is the cause of…absolutely nothing!

You mustn’t eat sugar,
You cannot eat cake,
And don’t touch that doughnut,
Please, for goodness sake!

Does it hurt when you do that?
Please can you explain?
I could never do that,
It would mess with my brain!

Please do that in private,
I don’t want to see,
When you puncture your fingers
Just think about me!

I guess if you’re Type 2,
That can only mean
That you’re big, fat and lazy,
And always have been.

What’s that that you’re saying?
It wasn’t your fault?
You ate too much sugar,
Now that’s come to a halt!

You can’t do what I can,
I think that’s a shame.
Just think what you’re missing!
Your condition’s to blame.

What’s that that you tell me?
You get along fine?
You like the odd whisky?
And occasionally, wine?

You can eat cakes and biscuits,
A normal amount?
It’s the fat you look out for,
The carbs that you count?


You won gold for Britain?
You’re fit and you’re lean?
Your total cholesterol’s
The best I have seen!

I say, since I met you,
I’ve found out so much,
So little you can’t do,
I’m so out of touch!

Please, forgive me my rudeness,
I just didn’t know
You’re perfectly normal!
Perhaps I should go…